Delight in disorder
by MelodyofChoas
Summary: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant. WARNING! MPREG! Do not read if do not like!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Delight in disorder Chapter 1

Author: melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together.

Rating: NC17 (eventually)

Warnings: none for this chapter

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant. Bruce finds out after hacking into the system after the Joker's escape and reading his medical file, with a side note saying that some doctors at Arkham are theorizing that the Joker was experimented on in the past.

The Joker felt the laugh bubbling in his throat and made no effort to suppress the giggle bursting from his scarred mouth as the SWAT officers approached him. They looked rather quaint from his upside down view. He supposed the three officers approaching him had lost whatever game trained officers such as them, played to decide who was the one to cut down the sociopath. This thought only increased his amusement, and at the same time increased the look of terror on the officer's faces, which, in his mind, only increased the hilarity of the situation. Eventually, he was cut down and they made sure he was securely handcuffed before he was loaded into one of the armoured vans. The officer in charge didn't look happy when asked if this was the same van Harvey Dent was loaded into, and the looks of disgust he got from the other officers was just a bonus. The Joker made no effort to make this more difficult. He knew he'd see his Bat again soon.

Bruce sighed as he buttoned his shirt. He picked up the remote and turned on the T.V. He needed some mindless entertainment after his trying night hunting down Joker. Bruce turned away and was about to walk out the room when the news program flashing across the screen filtered through to his hazy brain. "Tonight, only hours after Gotham PD's brave effort to catch the sociopath known only as the Joker succeeded, we received news of his escape from the armoured van they were using to transfer him to Arkham Asylum". After the news reporter had mentioned Joker's name, it had Bruce's full attention. After she said 'escaped', Bruce couldn't believe it! He'd only just handed the maniac over to them and now he'd escaped from the police. Again. Bruce sighed and walked across to the secret door in his room and walked down to where his suit was housed. This was going to be a long night.

The Joker hummed to himself as he skipped down the road away form the burning wreckage of the Gotham Pd's armoured trucks. He stretched out his arms, laughing, as he twirled around in a circle, only to find himself face to face with his Bat. At this development, Joker gave a real smile complete with a shy and rather coy giggle, only to have Bats punch straight in the mouth, his ever-present laughter increased as he tasted blood in his mouth. As the Joker's laughter increased, Batman's ever-present scowl deepened. "You'll get frown lines ya know Bats" The Joker told him. Batman growled and then bent down to pick up the Joker by the collar of his coat. Batman shook him, and growled "Why?".

"Why what Bat? Be more specific! Why do you sound like you've swallowed a load of razor blades? Why can't you just _smile_? What?" The Joker smirked at him. Batman growled, seemingly making a conscious effort to control his temper, and asked "Why do you do anything that you do? It doesn't matter, you are going to Arkham, and I will make sure you stay there. You deserve so much worse than to rot in that place, after what you did to Rachel" Batman hissed through clenched teeth.

"What about Harvey? Can't forget Gotham's white knight, can we?" The Joker cackled. With that short sentence, the look in Batman's eyes changed. The look was now filled with a murderous intent, it made the Joker swoon with the heady effect of having that look directed at _him._ Whilst the Bat was obviously distracted with the best way to shut him up (the Joker could have told him if he just asked), he managed to wriggle free and was off running towards a dark alley, he didn't stop when he reached it, knowing the Bat would have given chase.

Batman clenched his jaw, and took off after the mad figure in purple. The anger from the Joker's earlier comments came back full force, momentarily forgotten with the heat of the chase, making Batman run harder and faster after the Joker, the fury he felt made him feel practically invincible, he, unfortunately, was so concentrated on catching the Joker and beating the shit out of him, that he didn't notice the fire escape ladder someone had left down. He felt the pain of his head connecting with the metal, and after that everything went black.

The Joker laughed as he ran, enjoying the feel of freedom, nothing but the wind on his face, the fast beat of his heart, his breath coming out in short pants and his beautiful Bat quick on his heels. Joker had run nearly three blocks through back alleys before he realised the Bat was not behind him. Upon this realisation the Joker nearly threw a temper tantrum, the likes of which tend only to be seen on three year olds in the candy shop who have just been told 'no'. Instead of this, he gritted his teeth and turned on his heel and stalked back the way he came. He got angrier and angrier with each step. What the hell was the Bat playing at? Had he dared to go and catch criminals who weren't him? A strange, nauseous feeling welled up in the Joker, constricting his airways and his heart seemed ready to burst out his chest. After a minute or so of trying to figure out why he felt this way (his theory on food poisoning was only dismissed when he tried to remember when the last time he ate was), he realised what it was: fear. He was afraid for the Bat. And with that rather startling revelation, he tried to push it out of his mind. Lusting after the Bat he could accept, but this fear, that was too near to what real romantic feelings for someone might involve, and so the Joker spent the rest of his walk, swearing under his breath and trying to convince himself he was only scared because he wasn't finished playing with Batman yet. It almost worked. Almost.

The Joker stiffened when he saw his Bat spread out on the dark, dank alley floor. He quickly worked out what had happened, and practically ran to Batman's side(although later he would tell himself it was merely because he was eager to go home, it wasn't concern for the Bat. Really.) He quickly ascertained that the Bat's breathing and heartbeat was regular and strong, though he properly had a concussion. The Joker tenderly stroked Batman's head before gently manoeuvring him so his head lay on the Joker's lap. The Joker felt rather giddy. He was so close to the Bat, and as the Bat was unconscious, he wasn't hitting him. So the Joker sat and looked at him. He took in the smooth black curve of the cowl. The strong jaw line, complete with a small amount of 5 o'clock shadow. He wondered what colour the Bat's hair was. He drank in the sight of the Bat's pale pink lips, they looked so soft, the Joker thought dreamily. The Joker then decided to give in to that desire he had long harboured. He leant down and gently pressed his lips to Batman's. That was also when Batman came to. The Joker fully expected to be beaten, tied up and carted back of to Arkham, but perhaps Batman was concussed, perhaps he'd always harboured this desire, it didn't matter the Joker decided because Batman _was kissing him back. _


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Delight in Disorder Chapter 2/?

Author: Melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together.

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Mpreg, explicit sex

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant. Bruce finds out after hacking into the system after the Joker's escape and reading his medical file, with a side note saying that some doctors at Arkham are theorizing that the Joker was experimented on in the past.

Big thank you to my wonderful beta, Amanda Saitou

Bruce's mind felt as though it were filled with an impenetrable fog, he refused to open his eyes and ruin the illusion that someone cared for him. He could only feel a soft pair of lips on his, and someone's hard thighs beneath him and a pair of thin arms holding him close. For the first time, Bruce felt peaceful and cared for. He wanted more though; he gently flicked his tongue onto the lips touching his, and felt the person above him grant him access to their mouth. Bruce gently explored the mouth above him, but opened his eyes when he felt the scar tissue on either side of the mouth. Directly in front of his eyes was a mess of grungy green hair, which Bruce could now see curled slightly. The white greasepaint had rubbed off in some places, leaving pale skin uncovered. Being this close to the Joker's blackened eyes made him look like a demented panda, the effect only ruined by the whore-red lipstick. 'You are kissing the Joker! Stop! Now!' his mind screamed at him. For once, Bruce stopped thinking, closed his eyes and deepened the kiss further.

The Joker was enjoying himself immensely, he had expected to kiss Batman, have him wake up and beat the shit out of him. Instead, Batman had deepened the kiss and was still busy exploring his mouth, paying rapt attention to the muffled moans whenever he licked the scars on the inside of his mouth. The Joker shifted slightly so Batman's head was laying in his lap at an easier angle for him to bend down and continue their kiss. The Joker took advantage of Batman's momentary inaction to thrust his own tongue into Batman's mouth. This time Batman groaned, though the delicious sound was muffled by his mouth.

Bruce was thoroughly enjoying himself. He hadn't felt this good in ages, all the times the Joker had gone about them being each other's other half, or completing each other, he had denied it each time and pushed it so far into the dark recesses of his mind, but now, he understood it. It was a magnetic force that drew them together, and Bruce felt as though he were a moth compelled to fly towards the flame, sooner or later he supposed, he'd be burned by the Joker's fire, either metaphorically or physically. But for tonight he was determined not to think upon the nature of good and evil, determined not to think of what the Joker had done; he only wanted to think about how they fitted so perfectly together. Bruce gave into the desires that had long haunted him, the same thoughts he constantly suppressed, he wanted to know his lover, every inch of him. And so Bruce sat up without breaking the kiss and moved so he straddled the Joker and turned the kiss more heated and passionate. He instantly adored the muffled squeak as he ground himself down onto the Joker's hardness. The Joker ground upwards, but let out a hiss of frustration as he encountered only Batman's armour and not his flesh.

Bruce finally broke the kiss, only to begin marking the Joker, licking and sucking on his pale neck. The Joker was trying to grind him and Bats together, but, due to Batman's armour, was finding it incredibly frustrating. "Bats, I wanna feel you! How in the bloody hell do you get this off?" He whined petulantly in where he thought Batman's ear would be. The Joker felt Batman move a little bit away from him, and began to release pieces of the armour, allowing them to fall onto the alley floor. The Joker watched transfixed, as more of the Bats perfectly sculpted body came into view. With now only a fitted body suit and the cowl covering the flawless body, Batman looked into the Joker's poison green eyes and said, "Your turn". The Joker smiled and began removing his multiple layers of clothing, his eyes never leaving the Bats, and with every article of clothing the Joker removed, the heat in Batman's eyes grew.

Bruce felt as though he was going to spontaneously combust there and then. He didn't think watching the Joker strip in a dark, dank alley could be so… erotic. Once the Joker had removed all but his shoes and pants, Bruce pulled the Joker close and kissed him again. Now, with Batman's armour removed, the two men could feel each other's hardness, Joker began moving his hips and grinding himself against Bruce, which was like nothing Bruce had ever felt before, it was better than anything he had experienced with his usual fare of air headed socialites. As good as this was, Bruce wanted more, he moved the Joker back, so he could press the Joker into the wall and prepared himself to do something he had never considered before.

He knelt before the Joker, drinking in the surprised moan he got, and pulled the Joker out of his trousers, not surprised to find the Joker favoured going commando, and gently and tentatively licked the head. Bruce, instead of focusing on what he was doing, decided to focus on what he liked to have done to him and do them to the Joker, wanting to pleasure him. Bruce then leant in and took the head into his mouth and sucked gently. "You might wanna put your hands on my hips too" the Joker groaned before throwing his head back and banging it off the wall behind him, at the same time thrusting his hips forward slightly, though not enough to make Bruce gag.. Bruce made an agreeable noise, and Joker gasped at the pleasurable sensation the vibration produced. Bruce then moved his mouth as far down as he could and swallowed around the hot, hard length in his mouth. The Joker was now stroking the back of Bruce's neck, just under where the cowl ended. He then pulled his mouth back so only the head remained in his mouth, and he gently sucked on that again, before pulling his mouth of completely, and ignoring the Joker's sound of protest, pulled his pants down further and took one of the Joker's balls into his mouth, sucking and licking it. He then took the other into his mouth and proceeded to do the same thing to it, all the while the Joker making delicious noises of encouragement which only served to increase Bruce's lust and embolden him further.

Bruce then resumed his sucking of the Joker's cock, looking up for the first time since he'd knelt before him, to find out that the Joker had been watching him the whole time, and the look of raw heat and lust in his eyes made braving his uncertainties to do this were all worthwhile. Bruce continued to look into the Joker's eyes, drinking in all the delicious noises the Joker made as he got closer to climax, sliding his mouth as far as he could go, using his hand to pump the rest, and his other hand to roll and fondle Joker's balls. "Going to come, Batsy, so good!" The Joker groaned, pumping his hips minutely under Bruce's hands. Bruce pulled his mouth back so only the head remained in his mouth as he felt the Joker begin to come, he wanted to taste the Joker, and his eyes never left him as his orgasm over took the clown, and he cried out. Bruce drank down everything the Joker gave him, and the Joker moaned as Bruce continued to suckle on his over-sensitive flesh. Bruce pulled off and stood up and was instantly pulled into a heated kiss; he opened his mouth eagerly, wanting the Joker to taste himself in his mouth.

Bruce watched with a heated gaze as the Joker dropped to his knees and moaned with surprise as the Joker tongued his belly button. The Joker kissed his way reverently to Bruce's rock-hard and leaking cock. He felt as though he'd been hard for years, as Bruce swept his tongue around his own mouth, he tasted the Joker, and the remembrance of the excitement and thrill of doing _that_ to another man came back, ten-fold. The Joker was now sucking on the head, but as their eyes met, Joker did something Bruce never expected. He took all of Bruce into his mouth and into his throat, Bruce moaned the Joker's name as he swallowed around Bruce. "You keep doing that and this, ahh, do that again, might be over, mmm sooner that you'd like" Bruce gasped. The Joker chuckled around his delicious mouthful, the vibrations going straight to Bruce's balls, the sensation increased as Joker gently pulled and rolled Bruce's balls in one hand. Bruce was so far gone into his own pleasure, he didn't notice what the Joker's other hand was doing until it began lightly circling the entrance to Bruce's body. Bruce jumped slightly, which only caused his cock to slid further down the Joker's throat. At the same as the Joker drew back to suck on the head, he slid one finger into Bruce's body. Bruce moaned at the pleasure the dual sensations caused. The Joker moved his finger around, almost like he searching for something… Bruce mused, until Joker touched something inside him which made him see stars behind his eyelids. The Joker continued to finger him and began to tongue the weeping slit. Bruce could feel his release building in the pit of his stomach and in the tightening of his balls. "JOKER!" Bruce hoarsely yelled as he came, the Joker greedily sucking down everything. The Joker released him with a wet pop.

The Joker was on a high like no other. Batman had sucked his cock. He'd sucked Batman's. He was completely and euphorically happy. He giggled before kissing Bats to let him taste himself on his tongue. Joker could still taste himself on Batman's tongue, which fuelled both his good mood and the rising excitement. The last thing he expected was for Batman to throw him to the ground, and begin muttering under his breath, running around attempting to put all his armour back on. The Joker's good mood vanished like a puff of smoke. "What the hell are you doing?" He growled.

"This should never have happened!" Batman exclaimed, a note of desperation colouring his words.

"What?! Don't tell me you're going all 'Oh my god, I got off with the Joker' are you?" The Joker sarcastically replied. At Batman's look, he giggled, "Oh so, that's it! It's not 'mass murderer', that dear old Batsy is freaking about, it's 'another man'" The Joker said, more to himself than anyone else. Instead of replying, Batman ran off, blending in with the shadows so that Joker soon lost sight of him. He sighed and ran a hand through grungy green locks, before he began gathering his clothes and getting dressed. At least in Batman's hurry to get away, he forgot to take him back to Arkham. He tried to ignore the feeling of hope rising in his chest that Batman hadn't forgotten, the hope that Batman was letting him go.

Bruce reached his penthouse in record time. For once, he hoped that Alfred hadn't waited up for him, he didn't think he had, it was, after all, 4am, far later than Bruce normally stayed out for. He crept to his room being as quiet as he could, once he reached his room, he removed the armour, piece by piece, trying to digest the night's events. He grimaced when he saw the lipstick covering his stomach, he refused to look further, knowing what he'd see, but not wanting to acknowledge the night's events as any more than a concussion-fuelled delusion. He didn't want to think, all he wanted to have a hot shower, wash away the last of the Joker on him, crawl into bed and sleep.

That night all Bruce could dream about was the Joker. Cackling red lips, a wicked tongue and that grungy, green hair infested every corner of his mind. When he woke up, he felt only a little more rested than when he had crawled into bed. When he walked into the kitchen, he gave Alfred a shock, who was obviously expecting to have to wake him up. "Master Bruce, are you all right? It's only seven thirty, you know" Alfred asked. "Yes, I know Alfred, just woke up and I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, so I got up." Bruce didn't mention he didn't want to sleep, knowing he'd dream about the Joker. Alfred didn't push the matter, but gave Bruce his time-honoured look, the one that said: 'I know _something is going on'._

_The Joker was in a foul mood at his 'headquarter', a filthy, dilapidated warehouse in the Narrows. It had been three fucking days since that night in the alley, and he'd seen hide nor cowl of Batsy. He was determined to force Batman to face him, and tonight had am idea (not plan, never plan), that would draw dear Batty out of his cave. Oh, yes, tonight he would see his sugar plum again. _


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Delight in Disorder Chapter 3/?

Author: Melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together.

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Mpreg, explicit sex, cross-dressing

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant. Bruce finds out after hacking into the system after the Joker's escape and reading his medical file, with a side note saying that some doctors at Arkham are theorizing that the Joker was experimented on in the past.

Big thanks to my wonderful beta, Amanda Saitou

The Joker sat atop a pile of various candies, cackling to himself. At the bottom of the pile were 14 hostages, each tied up, gagged and whimpering. The Joker thought his ultimatum was rather _delicious_, if he did say so himself. The message had already been sent to the police and it should have been delivered to the appropriate Bat. He giggled again and picked up a handful of candy and tossed it into the ever-smiling mouth.

That bloody damn clown. He just couldn't leave well enough alone, had to keep pushing and pushing. It turned out that what the Joker wanted in return for the release of the hostages was for every inmate in Arkham to be released by the police, and he, Batman cringed with embarrassment, wanted Batman to give him his own, personal strip show. That conversation with Gordon was properly the most embarrassing thing Bruce had ever been through. The bloody clown had even specified the music. Bruce braced himself as he dropped through the decrepit warehouse's skylight, to land in front of… what in the name of all that was holy had the Joker done?

The Joker was feeling extra-pleased with himself. He hoped Batsy appreciated the lengths he'd gone to. It was damn hard to find emerald green silk stockings! But he did look damn good in them, so he supposed the trouble was worth it. What made it even better was the way Batsy was staring at him, with his mouth open. He snickered lightly. "A fly will fly in there if you're not careful, Bats." The snicker rose to a chuckle.

Bats' mouth abruptly closed with an audible crack. "What in God's name are you wearing?" Bats managed to get out through a clenched jaw. "Like the outfit? It's all for you, you know" The Joker told him as he pirouetted on the spot. The Joker was dressed in a long purple dress that had a low back, just touching the very top of his ass, it was low cut in the front, although tastefully, and it was slit up to mid-thigh on one side. He'd teamed it with the emerald green stockings, and although Bats couldn't see, he had matching underwear on too. Joker also was missing his usual pair of gloves. The sapphire blue high heels had been a bitch, both to find, and to walk in. But the point was, he looked damn good and he knew it. "Well, you know…" Batman stammered out. He then looked at the Joker's face for the first time since entering the building, and immediately noted the difference. His hair was clean and curly, falling to just above his shoulders. It was greener than normal, indicating a fresh dye-job. But it was his make-up that caught and captivated his gaze. Instead of thickly layered white grease-paint, black kohl and whore red lipstick, all sloppily applied, his white face-paint was like chalk, his eyes looked like two glittering emeralds ringed by perfectly applied eyeliner, and his lips were painted red, but with perfect accuracy. Even the scars didn't seem to detract from his beauty, in an odd way, they only increased how attractive he was to Bruce.

The Joker was trying very hard not laugh in Batsy's face. Really, the look was priceless! He couldn't take his eyes off him, and Joker enjoyed every second of Batman's undivided attention. "Err, Bats, don't want to tell you how to do your thing or anything, but I think you have forgotten about the hostages" The Joker told Batman. His only reply was an unintelligent sound of agreement. The Joker began mentally counting down to how long it took Batman to regain his focus. He, delightedly, got to 10 before Batman growled at him. "Where are the hostages, Joker?"

"Not here. But guess what is!" Joker cackled happily, waving the detonator around. When Batman lunged towards him, Joker moved out of the way, and making sure Batman was watching, slipped the detonator into his emerald-green silk knickers, giving Batman a delicious view of his underwear. 'And we are back to the fish impressions. Great.' thought the Joker, at the return of the gormless idiot currently inhabiting Bat's body. However, Batman recovered quicker this time, and began circling the Joker. "Give me the detonator and release the hostages Joker" Batman growled.

"Ah ah ah! You are forgetting the terms set out to you in my little letter!" The Joker snarled. Batman remembered then what exactly Joker wanted in return for the safe release of the hostages. Only one word slipped through his lips, "Shit" he murmured. The Joker chuckled happily.

"Now, now, Bats, I've got the music ready, and I've got my seat and my snack, so away you go!". The Joker pressed play on the cd-player. Batman's mouth dropped open as the first words of the song filtered through to his hazy mind. "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you, you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you" came blasting through the speakers, the Joker's head happily moving to the beat.

"No way in hell, Joker, am I stripping for you" Batman told him, the statement had an air of finality to it, Batman liked to think. Apparently Joker didn't agree.

"Then Boom!" The Joker began to move his hand towards his silken covered groin.

"No!" Batman yelled. The Joker smirked. He knew fine well that Batman would do anything to save civilians. "Well then, Bats, what's it going to be? Strip or boom?" The Joker asked politely. Batman sighed. Joker was now fighting the impulse to jump up and yell 'YES' very loudly. Batman began to remove his cape, the black material fell to the floor in a heap at his feet. Bruce gritted his teeth as he began to sway his hips. The only thing at the moment stopping him from jumping the clown and beating the shit out of him, was the wide-eyed look of awe and thinly disguised lust colouring his face. Bruce began to dance properly now, although he closed his eyes and made no move to remove any part of his armour.

The Joker, for his part, was utterly transfixed, hungrily committing every move the Bat made to memory. Although it took the clown a few moments to notice, he did eventually. "Err, Bats I asked you to strip. That means take your bloody clothes off. Now." Joker demanded. It had been too long since he'd seen the gorgeous body that lay below the Kevlar armour. Batman, meanwhile, did something he'd never done whilst wearing the armour and more importantly, the cowl. He allowed Bruce to take control, allowed himself to take back his fake playboy personality. Bruce slithered his hands to just below his ribs, and pressed, releasing the armour plates across his stomach. The Kevlar fell to the floor with a dull thud. Bruce didn't miss the Joker's sharp intake of breath. He knew fine well how much his black under-tee shirt clung to every curve of his body. After a few more moments of moving to the beat, Bruce also released the shoulder plates, which in turn caused the arms to fall off, leaving his entire upper body open to the Joker's scrutiny. Although, Bruce smirked, he didn't seem as though he was doing anything other than concentrating on not drooling.

The Joker was so glad he'd thought of this. He didn't think he had ever had a better idea! (apart from kissing Bats in that alley, of course. And look how well that turned out!) Joker felt his breathing speed up as Bats moved to the beat dressed only in his tight tee-shirt that gave a tantalising glimpse of the perfect body beneath it, and the tight black boxer-briefs which revealed far more than they hid. 'They are sinfully tight' the Joker thought, whilst trying to adjust him)self subtlety, not easy whilst wearing such a revealing dress. Joker also noticed, that at some point, he wasn't sure when, Batman had gotten around to removing the heavy Batboots. Bruce, at first, had thought this was properly the most humiliating and degrading thing he had ever had to do, but now he was quite enjoying every reaction he could pull out the clown before him. He enjoyed the fact that a move so simple as swaying his hips to the beat could provoke a quiet but sharp intake of breath.

The song Bruce was dancing to came to an end, and a very different one started. "If I could smell your words I'd reek of hate disturbed. Consumed by your own phrase of go to hell. you said. The more you're in my life, I think hell might be nice." Bruce stopped dancing, this song having a different, slower beat than the previous. He extended a hand to the Joker, who reached up and took Bruce's much larger hand in his own. The two men gently wrapped their arms around the other, and began to dance together to the music. Their pace was slow, and Bruce was sneaking glances from under his lashes at his partner when he thought he wasn't looking. Every time Bruce did that, his and Joker's eyes would meet, and Bruce's gaze would skitter away. Joker thought it was rather cute, something he hadn't thought he would ever call Batman. The Joker smirked coquettishly at Batman, before Bruce felt the harsh sting of a needle entering his thigh, and then he slipped into oblivion.

Bruce woke up, and groaned, reaching for his covers. Finding only concrete, his eyes flew open, he sat up abruptly and reached for his cowl, ensuring it was still in place. "I haven't taken it off" came a quiet whisper from the corner. It was the Joker, although he was huddled in the dirty, dank corner with his knees drawn up to his chin. At Bruce's questioning look, he shook his head, "I don't want to steal your identity, I want you to give it to me, does that make sense?" he ran his hands through the clean, green curls.

"In a Jokerish sort of way" Bruce told him quietly. Joker smiled slightly at that. Bruce decided then to try and put of his mind what the Joker had done, and focus on what he looked like now, with parts of the chalky face-paint rubbed off, his pale skin seemed to glow under the low lighting of the dank warehouse; he looked like a young and confused man, who at the same time, was incredibly beautiful. Bruce moved slowly across the floor until he was in front of the Joker, he looked him straight in the eye, before leaning in and kissing him full on the mouth. This kiss could never be called gentle or tentative, not like the ones shared in the alley, this one was filled with raw lust and passion, all the anger and hatred Bruce couldn't let go of, only served to fill the kiss with a bloody passion that excited both men. The Joker moaned into his mouth as Bruce harshly bit Joker's tongue, the kiss quickly tasting of blood, the taste of which filled them both with a violent need. The Joker's roaming were tracing all the hard lines of muscle of Bruce's upper body, paying special attention the scars littered across his torso, whilst Bruce couldn't be bothered with undoing all of the hidden zips to remove the dress, so simply ripped the sleeves apart which were the only thing holding the dress up.

Bruce then dragged the Joker up by the tattered remnants of his dress, and pushed him up against the wall. Joker then pulled him in for another kiss, no less violent than the first. The Joker was content to allow Batman his illusion of dominance for the moment, especially as Batman had him pushed into the wall. Which meant Joker could feel every inch of Bat's body pressed against his, including how interested Batman's not so little bat was in the proceedings. Bruce wanted to feel skin-on-skin contact, wanted to feel every inch of the lithe body beneath him, wanted to trace all the soft skin interrupted by scars with his tongue he was currently running his hands over. The Joker shifted against him, so the dress slithered over his hips, and fell to the floor. Bruce looked down over what had been revealed and stopped the kiss he was so surprised. The Joker had women's emerald green underwear on, complete with stockings and suspenders. Bruce had never thought of a man wearing women's underwear as particularly arousing, but he changed his mind there and then, as his cock hardened further, his tight black boxer-briefs not doing anything to hide this from the Joker's gaze. He couldn't have been more pleased at Bruce's reaction to his underwear, but right now, he had more important things that needed seeing to. Joker pulled Batman back into him so he could press him against the wall. Bats took the hint and began kissing him harshly again. Joker began to run his hands up and down Bruce's sides, not pressing lightly enough for the sensation to be ticklish, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of his tight underwear and pulled them down as far as he could reach with Bats still pressing him into the wall, however this was far enough for them to fall to the floor, where Bats kicked them out of the way. He then took a step back, giving the Joker one hell of an eyeful. He was so involved in memorizing every inch of the Godlike perfection in front of him he nearly missed the lowly growled, "Take them off", from Bats, who was running his eyes over the Joker's body. Realising he meant the underwear, Joker began to undo clips, and removed the shoes and all the articles of clothing without preamble.

Once Joker was completely naked, both men reached for each other, and Joker was unceremoniously pushed back against the wall, the rough concrete scratching the delicate skin of his back, the deliciously sharp sting of pain adding to the pleasure. Bruce growled lowly in his throat as he and the Joker rubbed against the other, precum from them both only just slicking the way enough for it to be a pleasurable burn, as the friction built up. Joker moaned and flung his head back, hitting it off the wall with a sharp crack, which made Bruce wince in sympathy, but only made the Joker moan more obscenely. Bruce, being far too worked up to attempt any further foreplay, took them both in one of his large, manicured hands, drinking in Joker's surprised gasp, as he worked them both harshly, not wanting to torture either of them anymore. Bruce could feel the Joker get nearer to his release, and having such power and control over such a dangerous force of chaos only made Bruce speed towards his own release. After not very long, both Bruce and Joker came, coating the other's stomach with their own release, the Joker with a yell of "Bats!" and Bruce with a string of profanities. Bruce released them both and slid to the floor, his legs tired after such an explosive release. The Joker followed him to the floor only moments later. At the Joker's breathy laugh, Bruce felt his Batman persona come flooding back, that part of Bruce's brain screaming at how foolish this was and how vulnerable it made him. Batman was unwavering in how compromised he felt Bruce now was; the first time he had given in to the Joker could be explained away by reason of the head injury he had sustained, but this time? What excuses could Bruce offer? What excuses could he offer for wanting the Joker more than ever? All Bruce wanted was to pull the clown into his arms, and kiss him gently, as the violent passion between them had now been temporarily abated.

Bruce stood up abruptly and began moving around the dingy warehouse looking for his underwear and various parts of the bat suit. "So, off again in a hurry, Bats?" drawled the Joker, who still remained naked and sitting on his backside on the filthy floor. Bruce almost felt inclined to tell the Joker what he felt, although he put that down to them being intimate only moments before. People told their lovers stuff, didn't they? Bruce thoughts screeched to a halt. 'LOVER?! Since when do I see the Joker as anything other than the nearest appropriate outlet for when I need to hit something? What we just did is a continuation of our fights, nothing more' Bruce told himself firmly. "I can hear you thinking!" the Joker sing-songed. "Bye-bye, Bats, I'm assuming you are having another of your little 'OH MY GOD' moments" The Joker told him. Bruce glared at him. "If looks could kill!" laughed the Joker. Bruce glared harder, but his brow furrowed with concern, that wasn't the breathy little laugh Bruce so loved to coax from the green-haired man, this was a laugh Batman heard upon many occasions, normally with a background of fire and death. Bruce hated the sound even more than his counterpart if such a thing was possible. He also despised the look on his face, full of malicious glee, and barely restrained fury. Bruce then did something he knew he'd regret the moment he sat back to digest the night's events. He walked up the Joker, who was still sitting on the floor, although now cross-legged, bent down so his face was at the same level as the Joker's, and kissed him gently on the mouth.

The kiss was unlike any Joker had ever received from any other person apart from Batman. He could be so violent and passionate one moment, only to surprise him once again the next. This kiss was light, barely there, lips sliding over each other gently, a caress that was a polar opposite of their earlier violent coupling. Bruce then drew back, smiling at the shell-shocked look on Joker's face, before ensuring his armour was intact and leaving the derelict building with the naked Joker still sitting on the floor inside.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Delight in Disorder Chapter 4/?

Author: Melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together.

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Mpreg, explicit sex,

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant. Bruce finds out after hacking into the system after the Joker's escape and reading his medical file, with a side note saying that some doctors at Arkham are theorizing that the Joker was experimented on in the past.

Big thanks to my wonderful beta, Amanda Saitou

Joker sat upon the dirty floor for a while longer, even as the cold from the concrete floor seeped into the bare skin of his arse. Eventually he got up, and began the search for his clothes. He put them on, although he didn't think of the motions, his mind too busy churning over the events. He could digest the sex, but after Bats had kissed him gently, it had made the Joker feel rather odd. It wasn't an unwanted kiss exactly, he would never turn down any attention from Bats after all. It had made him feel odd though, and he couldn't quite figure out why.

Bruce reached his penthouse quickly, going over the rooftops and gliding where possible. He was lucky no-body spotted him, he was thinking only of the Joker, and his reaction to that last kiss. He wondered how long he sat on the floor for. He smiled a little at the shell-shocked look on his face, however it inspired an odd feeling in the pit of Bruce's stomach when he realised that the Joker expected Batman to be violent with him, he definitely never expected that Batman could be gentle with him. Although it hadn't been Batman who had kissed the Joker after their violent coupling, it had been Bruce, and that was what scared Bruce. He couldn't allow any part of himself to feel anything for the madman, it was wrong, the green-haired maniac had killed Rachel. His one chance for a normal life and that bastard had taken her away in a blast of fire that had destroyed more than Bruce's hope for a normal life. Bruce knew he couldn't let his anger from Rachel's death fade away, even with the epiphany he'd had a few days after her death. It had been a subtle whisper in the back of his head, it had implied that the only reason he missed Rachel was not because he had been in love with her, but because he knew he had never been. Oh he loved her certainly, but it wasn't a romantic form of love. And that the whispering voice told him, was why he hated the Joker so much, because her death forced him to confront certain parts of himself he would never have dared to.

The Joker, meanwhile, was sneaking back to his current hide-out, hidden deep in the worst parts of the Narrows. He hated that he could see the hulking carcass of Arkham Asylum outlined by the sinking sun. He had never been, but he had made it his business to know everything he could about Gotham and of all the worst things he had heard, they all revolved about the asylum. So he would never let Batman drag him there, if it was humanly possible. He wondered what the Bat was doing and thinking right now. Was he thinking about him? Joker certainly hoped so. The picture of Bats took form in his head as he stretched out on the filthy sheets on the lumpy and old mattress. He shifted, attempting to find a comfortable spot, although he failed miserably. He sighed, both to worn out and still too sated from earlier to follow his thoughts on Bats to its natural conclusion.

Bruce climbed into his large bed, and stretched out. Despite his earlier shower, the tension in his muscles had not dissipated. He sighed to himself. This… thing, whatever it was and wherever it was going, with the Joker had to stop. Bruce could already feel himself slipping into a place where the Joker was human, and where Bruce himself felt emotions he would never have thought he would feel for another person. He knew he couldn't and wouldn't fall for the Joker. He closed his eyes, and tried to clear his mind. He failed. Bruce couldn't get past the images floating around in his head. He wasn't sure he wanted the images to go away. Images of the Joker as he looked tonight, images of the Joker on his knees, Bruce himself on his knees looking up at the psychotic clown. Bruce sighed once again, and resigned himself to another long and sleepless night.

Bruce's eyelids fluttered open. He glanced at the clock sitting upon his bedside table and groaned. 2:33am. Why was he awake? He was so tired, he just wanted to sleep. What had he been dreaming about? He couldn't remember, the dream had disappeared upon waking. "Must have been a nice dream though" Bruce murmured to himself, whilst looking down at the tent in the sheets. He tried to will his erection away, but failing miserably, even his worst turn-offs weren't working! Bruce sighed and took himself in his hand, conjuring up images of his model companions, imagining them doing all sorts of fantastically wicked things to both each other and himself. His hand began to move faster, twisting around just so when it reached the top. Bruce could feel himself rushing towards orgasm. But then, unbidden, Joker made an appearance into his fantasy. The women disappeared, and all that was left was him and Joker. Just as Bruce was about to penetrate the Joker, he came. Despite this, he still felt unsatisfied somehow. 'Great, now the bastard has ruined wanking for me' was Bruce's first thought. In some deep part of himself he supposed he should be concerned about how easily the Joker's appearance in his fantasy was accepted. Instead of dwelling upon this, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to slip back into sleep.

Joker groaned as he woke up, finding himself tangled in his sheets. He kicked furiously trying to free himself from the harsh cotton grip. He puffed in annoyance when he looked at the clock once he had gotten free. 2:33am. Joker sat up, swearing, knowing from experience he would not be able to sleep until he had gotten rid of this nervous energy his small frame was suddenly filled with. Maybe he could kill someone. Or blow something up. That normally helped. He sighed, expecting he couldn't face Bats, not yet. His body needed a little longer to recover from the damage Bats heaped upon it, his mind too, needed time to sort through the jumbled mess. You really wouldn't think one little kiss would be enough to send his mind into a twirling spiral of chaotic thoughts, but it was. It didn't help that he now found himself craving more of those gentle touches, more of those soft bitter-sweet kisses. He snorted, Bats would properly be amused to find this was how he could have prevented the Joker from taking lives, although on second thought, as this was Batsy, he wouldn't be. In fact, if the Joker was to voice these thoughts, it would properly be enough to warrant a beating.

Joker sighed and allowed his tired body to flop down on the uncomfortable and lumpy mattress. His head rested upon a pillow stained with grease-paint, lipstick and several other unidentifiable substances. He knew his body was tired, even as it continued to thrum with a nervous energy, his mind, too, couldn't, wouldn't stop thinking, thoughts buzzing around his head keeping him from sleep's pain-filled and nightmare strewn hold. He didn't know whether to be relived, or to cry with frustration. Instead of expanding further upon the thoughts currently at the fore-front of his mind, his thoughts floated back to the Bat. His body followed with a predictable reaction. Instead of bothering to ignore it, he sighed and allowed his hand to drift downwards and grasp the hardened flesh with a gasp issuing from a painted mouth. Joker pictured Bats in all of their recent encounters, adding his own fantasies to the memories. He came with a pained groan of 'Batman' upon his lips, but at the same time as his release felt the nervous energy dissipate somewhat, so Joker knew he could attempt to catch two hours sleep, before waking up again, either by the urgings of his chaotic mind, or by nightmares so terrible, and so ingrained upon his sub-conscious, he did not remember them at all. In fact, the only reason Joker knew he had nightmares was because a rather ballsy henchmen had had the guts to tell his boss that he screamed in his sleep. The Joker had of course killed him, but only after he had offered to get him some help with his sleeping problems. The Joker clenched his jaw with the memory.

Bruce woke up again. He glanced again at the clock, and groaned again. 3:37am, he'd only been asleep for about an hour. Bruce decided to close his eyes once again, and this time hoped he wouldn't be awakened by dreams of a green-haired clown. Perhaps Bruce should have noticed he no longer referred to his dreams as nightmares, but in his sleep-deprived state, the slip went unnoticed.

Bruce groaned as the bright sunlight assaulted his eyes, and Alfred's cheery voice filtered through to his sleepy brain. "Come on, Master Bruce, time to get up, you promised Mr Fox you would come in today, there are several meetings he wishes you to attend". Bruce groaned and sat up, blearily rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I'll just go and prepare your breakfast" Alfred said, far too chirpily for Bruce's liking. He said thank you to Alfred, before heading off for an awakening shower. He dried off quickly, dressed, and headed to the eating area to have his breakfast which he finished in record time. Bruce was soon in his car and off to work, praying the day would go quickly, because as much as Bruce hated it, he found himself not being able to wait to see the Joker, the man was like his own personal brand of Heroin, just as addictive and just as destructive. Bruce sighed as he sat through yet another tedious meeting. He really couldn't wait until the sun went down and he put on the bat suit and found the green-haired maniac who haunted his dreams, they had worsened since this… thing with the Joker has started.

At last, Bruce had finished at work and could go back to his penthouse. His time away from the Joker was drawing to a close, and as horrible as Bruce felt for wanting the Joker this much, he didn't think he could go without seeing him, but at the same time he knew what he had to do, he had to fulfil his duty to his beloved city, and for that to happen the Joker had to go to Arkham. Perhaps the doctors there could help him, but even as he thought this, Bruce knew no doctor could help the Joker, because to do that, they would need to understand him, and not a living soul could ever do that. His body was strumming with anticipation, knowing he would find the Joker tonight. He arrived at the penthouse quickly, planning to have a quick meal before suiting up and heading out.

Bruce was just about to put on the cowl when he heard the elevator arriving. Alfred stepped off, and Bruce was almost annoyed, knowing that Alfred would hold him up on his way to find the Joker. To his surprise, Alfred merely explained he wished to clean up a little, and that Bruce was free to go. Bruce was soon on his way into the heart of the Narrows, searching for the Joker. This time, Bruce had a plan, after all, he just needed something to get him over this ridiculous thing with the Joker, that way he could take the clown straight to Arkham, without having to worry he somehow depriving himself of something. Yes, that was the plan, one final sexual encounter with the thrice-dammed clown, and he would be all better.

Bruce was surprised when he found the Joker, it really hadn't taken long, but long enough to get Bruce's blood pumping that little bit faster. The Joker too, seemed surprised, not just at his presence, but that Bruce had already pushed him into a dark, dank and narrow alleyway, a place they were unlikely to be found. Joker seemed suspicious, with his green eyes narrowed at Bruce. Ignoring these signs of distrust and hostility, Bruce kissed him like a dying man sucking in precious air, before he was consumed by the blackness, a fitting metaphor for the way Bruce thought this illicit affair would end. Joker did not seem to mind, even though he had a hard, cold stone wall pressing into his back, and Bruce within his armour pushed into his chest, Bruce knew the sharp edges of his armour must be causing the Joker some discomfort, but the green-haired man gave no sign of this, if anything he pressed himself harder into Bruce.

Bruce now felt calm, in a wonderfully sexually excited sort of way; however realising he wanted this skin-to-skin, Bruce decided to move this somewhere near and indoors. He pulled his mouth away from the Joker's own long enough to ask where the nearest motel was. The Joker happily told him, before frowning and asking how they were going to get in, because, as he snidely pointed out, two murderers can not walk up to reception and ask for a room. Bruce rolled his eyes, and told the Joker the plan, which he agreed to, but only after whining and pointing out he did not plan and didn't like them. Bruce just ignored him, Joker did do a lot of whining after all, one just learned to block out his voice after a short while.

Bruce waited until the Joker had disappeared around the corner, before stripping off his armour and getting out a folded bag from his utility belt. He stuffed the armour in, and walked around the corner in the motel. Bruce quickly charmed the over made-up blonde receptionist who gave him a room, whilst fluttering her eyelashes at him. With a tight smile Bruce practically ran out of reception, pausing to put back on the cowl. He wasn't ready for the Joker to learn that secret. He wasn't sure he ever would be. He didn't bother with the rest of his armour and walked to the room. He had the feeling Joker would know exactly where to find him. When he unlocked the door, Joker was already sitting on the flowery bedspread, with his purple coat sitting next to him. Bruce snorted and shook his head. "How do you do that?" he asked. Joker smirked.

"Do what, Batsy, darling?" He asked, his voice taking on a tone of innocence that didn't match the smirk still plastered across his features. Bruce sniggered slightly in reply. Joker's smile only broadened, obviously pleased that he'd made Bruce laugh. Bruce couldn't help but think about how sweet he looked when he smiled, and that was just wrong, because he couldn't be sweet, or anything else that might give an indication of humanity, because Joker had given up that a long time ago. Briefly, the ludicrous thought passed through Bruce's head that did this mean that what he had been doing with the Joker, what he was about to do with the Joker, was bestiality? He quickly dismissed though, he was just being silly.

He snapped out of his thoughts and moved around to kiss the Joker, straddling the smaller man's thighs. Joker kissed back enthusiastically, opening his mouth to Bruce's questing tongue, which then proceeded to map out every inch of the Joker's mouth, paying extra attention and time to the ropey scars adorning both his cheeks. Bruce liked the way they felt against his tongue, so different to any other person's mouth. The Joker too, was different to kiss, he never held back, and was a surprisingly good kisser. His mouth always tasted nice, a sweet mix of candyfloss and caramel popcorn. Bruce wondered if that was all the other man ever ate. That would certainly explain the Joker's near-constant state of hyperactivity. He, however, was not going to take his tongue out of Joker's mouth long enough to ask.

The Joker was now happily lying underneath him, giving out the most delicious sounds of pleasure as Bruce ground his own hardness into the answering one beneath him. Bruce sat back slightly, giving himself enough room to strip off his own tee-shirt. He slid his arms under the Joker's shoulders so he could pull him up and slid off the suspenders first, unbuttoned the waistcoat and shirt, as well as removing the hideously patterned tie. When Bruce finally had all the clothing on the Joker's upper body removed, a task made more difficult by the Joker's tongue exploring his upper body, he began to work at removing the purple pants. Bruce slid off the bed to remove the Joker's shoes and brightly patterned argyle socks. He also removed the batboots, and his own socks. He then rose and met the Joker in a heated and passionate kiss. Joker then twisted them around so that Bruce was flat on his back with the Joker pressed against every inch of him. Joker was now exploring Batman's mouth, taking his turn to explore the other's mouth, after his own was explored so thoroughly before, he wanted to coax those fantastic sounds out of the Bat's throat again. Those sound alone were properly enough to get him off, Joker thought to himself with a giggle, he thought about sharing these thoughts with the gorgeous man spread out so alluringly below him but decided against, not realising how closely his thoughts mirrored the other man's.

Joker had decided that this was enough foreplay. He wanted Bats naked and inside him now. He was, after all, known for having a limited patience (none at all some would say, although never to his face). He stripped off his pants, made easier by Bats having already undone the fastenings. The wiggle he did to get the pants off caused more wonderful moans and groans to be freed from the man underneath him. Joker grinned, both because he was now naked and because Bats was making more of those fantastic sounds. He quickly freed Batsy from his clothes and lay back down on him , both men enjoying their first proper skin to skin contact.

Bruce groaned with the heady pleasure of the Joker undulating against him, this was fine for fore-play but Bruce wanted more. He slipped out from under the slighter man, ignoring his displeasure, and dug through the previously forgotten bag for his utility belt. "What are you doing, Bats?" Joker asked, a snarl noticeable in his voice. "Lube" was the grunted reply. If Bruce had been looking at the Joker, he would have registered widened eyes and shocked features although they soon melted into an expression of pleasurable anticipation. Bruce soon found what he was looking for and stood up, erection jutting proudly forward as he returned to the bed. He climbed onto the bed, and began to kiss the Joker again, some part of Bruce's brain told him that he and Joker spent a lot of time kissing. For once, Bruce ignored the little voices in his brain and got on with the important task of pleasuring his lover.

As they kissed, Bruce's slick fingers smoothed their way down the Joker's back, to reach the entrance. Bruce allowed his fingers to circle the puckered flesh, enjoying the Joker's own sounds of pleasure. His fingers dipped in, and at last Bruce slipped one finger in the hot, tight velvety channel. He moved it in and out slowly, occasionally twisting it around, until at last he hit a small nub which had the Joker giving a small shriek and pushing back onto his finger. Bruce took advantage of his distraction to add a second finger. Joker moaned again.

Joker was merely tolerating this invasion of his body until Bats touched something inside him. Something that made sparks go off behind his eyelids and that made it feel like an electric current ran down his spine and into his balls. When he came back to himself, Batsy had two fingers inside him and was moving them in and out. He whined slightly and pushed back, wanting Bats to touch the magic spot inside him again. Whilst he couldn't see, Bruce grinned at the wanton actions of the Joker, breaking out of his utter entrancement at watching his fingers slid in and out of the Joker's body, imaging it was his cock. Still, he didn't think he would take him like this, Bruce wanted to be able to kiss him. Joker felt a third finger slid in, and groaned at the burning feeling it caused. He had never wanted to have another person inside him before, but he found himself wanting Bats inside him more than anything. After all, whenever he imagined him and Bats having sex, it was Batsy who was dominated, tied up against an oil barrel or nearly unconscious against a wall. This was very different to the angry hate sex he would have expected from his other half.

The Joker gave a small noise of displeasure as Bruce withdrew his fingers, he smiled enjoying every noise the painted man allowed past his harlot-red lips. He leant down and whispered in the Joker's ear for him to turn around, which the Joker complied with almost immediately. He ran his hands down his spine, reaching his arse which he lifted up, Joker didn't need to be told to wrap his legs around Bruce's shoulders. Bruce guided himself into the Joker, groaning at the hot, slick, velvety tightness that had been so good around his fingers, now wrapped around his cock. Joker, too, moaned under him. Bruce began a slow pace, angling his hips so his cock only glanced of the Joker's prostate. Joker seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself, his head twisting from side to side, along with his sweet sounds of pleasure. Bruce then made a mental note to find another way of describing the Joker other than sweet. Clearly the murdering sociopath underneath him was no more sweet than the decaying corpses of the many people he had murdered.

The Joker was enjoying himself. He had never thought that being penetrated could be this enjoyable. The feeling of Bat's thick, hard cock splitting him open set all his nerves alight. He liked this position too, he could see every tiny emotion flitting across the Bat's face as he slowly moved in and out of his body. He could also kiss him any time the whim entered his mind. He leant up and captured Batsy's mouth with his own, pushing his tongue forcefully into the other man's welcoming mouth. Bats growled into his mouth, and took control of the kiss, thrusting his tongue in and out of the Joker's mouth in the same rhythm that his hips snapped in and out of his body. At every inward stroke of Bruce's hips, sparks erupted under his eyelids and electricity flowed down his spine and into his balls, the pleasure building and building.

Bruce groaned again, it felt so good to be buried inside his nemesis' body, he didn't think he could last much longer, but then, he reflected with an inward smirk, Joker seemed to be teetering on the brink too. Bruce gritted his teeth in an attempt to keep his splintering self-control. His thrusts into the willing body beneath him sped up, as his climax approached. His eyes flew open, he hadn't realised he had closed them, and looked into the Joker's poison-green eyes, which were alight with passion, pain, ecstasy and the familiar flicker of insanity. Bruce drank it all in, and in his eyes the Joker could see his own emotions reflected back at him, but what both men failed to notice was the other emotion that shone plainly out of their eyes.

In that moment, Bruce began to pump the Joker hard, growing desperate to bring the other man's climax at the same time his own was inevitably going to hit. Joker screamed out Batman as his orgasm hit, coating his own and Bruce's chests with the pearly liquid. Bruce felt his own orgasm hit like a freight train, pumping his seed into the Joker's tight, grasping ass.

Bruce collapsed onto the Joker, who grunted as the air was forced out of him by his considerable weight. Bruce knew his plan, yet found himself slipping into sleep along with the Joker who, by his steadily increasing depth of breathing, was nearly asleep too. He was nearly asleep curled around the Joker's slight frame when he heard a whispered plea in his ear. "Please, don't leave me Bats." Bruce's own reply was just as quiet, "I won't". Both men were soon asleep curled as closely to the other as they could get.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Delight in Disorder Chapter 5/?

Author: Melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together.

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Mpreg, explicit sex,

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant. Bruce finds out after hacking into the system after the Joker's escape and reading his medical file, with a side note saying that some doctors at Arkham are theorizing that the Joker was experimented on in the past.

Big thanks to my wonderful beta, Amanda Saitou

Bruce woke up, curled even tighter around the Joker than when he first fell asleep. A quick look at the clock on the wall informed him it was 3:40am. He sighed, and remembered what he had set out to do. He and the Joker had had sex, all those ridiculous feelings Bruce had been having should be well and truly purged. All that was left to do now was to put the sociopath back where he belonged; in the dark, dank, cloying and claustrophobic walls of Arkham Asylum, where he deserved to be, Bruce told himself firmly, ignoring the feelings of guilt that rose up in his chest at what he was about to do.

He carefully untangled himself from the tight embrace they shared and walked across the small room to where the bag with his armour was in. He reached in, and carefully, so as not to make any noise, extracted a leather case. In that case were several hypodermic needles and a small bottle filled with a sedative which Bruce knew would knock the Joker out for at least a couple of hours. Plenty of time for what Bruce knew needed to be done.

He sighed, almost regretting what needed to be done, but not quite. He only had to think of the destruction this monster had unleashed upon his city, upon Rachel and Harvey, but especially Rachel. He didn't think the anger from her brutal murder would ever fade. Bruce tried to block out the fact that by having sex with her murderer he had already betrayed her memory. He filled up the needle with the sedative, and crossed the room back to the Joker. He pulled one scarred arm towards him, and tapped it gently to bring up a vein. He then injected the Joker with the sedative, not noticing that a pair of anguished green eyes was focused upon him.

Bruce gently pulled the Joker up and into his arms, having gently dressed the man. He wasn't going to reapply the badly-smudged make-up though. Bruce had already put the armour back on, and was intending to jump out of the window and carry the Joker to the nearby, newly-repaired Tumbler. This was carried through without incident. Bruce was surprised at how easy it all was.

Bruce drove quickly to the ancient black, flaking paint over twisted steel gates of Arkham Asylum. The Joker twitched uneasily in his unconscious state. 'It was almost like he knew where he was…' Bruce mused. He scoffed at the impossibility of that, the Joker was many things, but psychic was not one of them. He picked up the Joker again, the cold unfeeling action he was about to undertake was off-set by the careful and gentle way he picked up Joker and cradled him close as he walked up behind the asylum, avoiding being seen.

He walked up to the tired-looking receptionist, and ground out that he had the Joker, who was in great need of mental help. Instantly, as she pressed an alarm Bruce assumed was hidden under the desk panel, several burly men came out of a small office to the side of the receptionist. Bruce instantly squashed the thought that this might be a mistake as soon as the unbidden thought arose in his tired and foggy mind. Once the Joker had been securely locked in a cell to await the morning, and the subsequent psychiatric analysis, Bruce left, moving as quickly as he could.

He ran across the dark city, enjoying the wind on his face and the feel of his cape billowing out behind him. The hard physical exercise prevented his mind dwelling on undesirable subjects. He wondered if the Joker was awake, but caught himself and cursed for allowing his thoughts to drift to the green-haired maniac. Bruce soon reached the penthouse, and allowed himself to go on autopilot, removing the suit, tidying the cave before taking the elevator to his main living area. He crept quietly so as not to wake Alfred and was soon sliding in between silken sheets. For once, Bruce didn't dream.

However, at Arkham, the hall trembled with the renewed screaming of its newest occupant. The Joker had awakened from his drug-induced sleep. He was restrained by a straitjacket, and to say he wasn't happy by this latest development was a little like saying Hiroshima was just a little accident. Joker had never felt such a maelstrom of emotions, it was like his chest was going to split open at any moment now. He hated Batman in this moment, for making him feel, for making him trust, only to have it savagely pulled away with his incarceration in this God-forsaken hellhole. He wouldn't stand for such a betrayal. Bats was going to see, going to pay for this. If he had thought he was a monster before this, he was going to see what the Joker was like when he was on the war-path, when he was fighting for revenge. He didn't normally like revenge, too cloying, too false. But in this case he was damn well justified.

Being poked and prodded when the doctors came into his small, padded cell did nothing to sway him from his chaotic, murderous thoughts. He was thoroughly examined, although the doctor taking a blood sample flinched when he snarled at him. He was then left alone, in his brightly light cell. He snarled to himself, with the injustice of it all. He hated that he felt so naked and weak. He very rarely removed his make-up, and never had anyone ever removed it for him. They were all going to pay for this, and Bats especially. He wouldn't want to be the person who got in his way.

Bruce yawned and stretched. For a brief moment he felt wonderful. Then the night's events came crashing into his mind. He groaned and covered his face with one hand. Bruce almost felt like having a temper tantrum like a small child. He shouldn't be thinking of the Joker. That was the point of last night, to purge the Joker from his thoughts. It didn't seem like it was working, if anything, he found his thoughts wandering to the Joker, thoughts of concern and regret, although still tinged with the familiar feeling of lust and his old friend, anger. He sat up and began his morning exercise routine, the familiar moves helping to clear his mind. Once he had finished, he was feeling much calmer, and ready for some acceptable human contact. Breakfast with Alfred was next, Bruce decided.

"You'll have to go and get another sample" one doctor stated.

The younger doctor, whom the Joker had scared earlier, visibly began to shake, "Do I, do I have to?" He stammered.

"Yes! These results cannot possible be right, but the lab is insisting they are, and I've checked myself. We need more blood for a second test, to verify these results"

The older doctor sighed, showing every one of his sixty-odd years. The younger doctor, whose name was Dr. Jackson, nodded miserably before heading back to the cell that contained many inhabitants of Gotham's worst nightmare. He couldn't help, he knew as a doctor, he should remain professional at all times. But he couldn't help it, the clown was fucking scary. And extremely fucked up if his blood tests shown true. If that was so, additional tests would need to be undertaken, just what he scared of: more time in the immediate vicinity of the thrice-dammed harlequin.

"Back so soon?" was growled in a lower tone than normal when he entered the cell.

For a moment, he wondered what had happened to the Joker's more nasally tones. "Err, yes, I'm afraid we need more blood. For erm testing." He hated he was scared, hated it made him stammer, made him sound like a pathetic child. He crossed the room to where he was restrained, feeling the poison-green gaze on him the entire time he went through the procedure of drawing blood from the Joker's arm.

The older doctor, whose name was Dr. Park, was going through the test results on the asylum's latest star patient. So far, all they had was evidence of recent sexual activity and some very unusual blood test results. No real name, no age, no past medical history. They had nothing on the evil mass-murderer currently restrained in cell 13.

Dr. Jackson walked back into his crowded office as his mind was still busy thinking over the Joker's unusual blood test results. He couldn't think of known medical aliment, apart from him being a hermaphrodite, which was he knew was incorrect having examined him himself.

"I've got the new set of test results, Dr. Jackson, they are exactly the same as the last ones."

The older man's frown deepened. There was no way those test results could be correct; it was an impossibility. But all the evidence seemed to point that way. The Joker was pregnant.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Delight in Disorder Chapter 6/?

Author: Melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together.

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Mpreg, explicit sex,

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant. Bruce finds out after hacking into the system after the Joker's escape and reading his medical file, with a side note saying that some doctors at Arkham are theorizing that the Joker was experimented on in the past.

Big thanks to my wonderful beta, Amanda Saitou

I love reviews. Hint.

The young doctor's mouth fell open. His shocked gaze said more than his meagre words ever could. Dr Park continued ignoring the younger doctor's shocked reaction. "We will of course need to ultrasound him, to be certain. Although how we are to achieve that when we can not pump him full of sedative nor gain a handle on his psychopathic tendencies without the use of drugs, I'm not certain."

"We could always explain to him." Dr Jackson volunteered.

"We could try. But if he rips his cell apart or himself, you will be held responsible. We can't be sure how his delicate psyche would take the blow". Dr Park frowned, more to himself than the younger doctor.

"But we must try, if we are to be certain of his… condition, so that we may take the appropriate steps." Dr Jackson said, attempting to portray a demeanour of calm, despite his inner disgust and fear.

The Joker gave the doctors his best glare of death as they walked through the door. He then realised what he had just thought, and decided he had watched enough Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns to be channelling in own inner British vampire. Oh well, he'd always thought Spike was rather amusing. But back to the situation at hand, he sternly told his meandering brain.

"Mr erm Joker." He tried not to snarl as the elder doctor stuttered slightly on addressing him. Fuck them, his real name was **not** for public consumption. "What?"

"I'm afraid your test results came back with some odd readings" The older doctor told him. 'Well? Get the fuck on with it old man before I get out of these ridiculous shackles and decide your insides look better on the outside.' Joker snarled to himself. "We have your blood tests results, and upon redoing them, the result was the same. Now we aren't sure how it happened, but you are pregnant." Dr Park continued, seemingly oblivious to his patient's murderous thoughts.

Joker's thoughts abruptly stopped. This almost never happened, and when it did, he tended to wake up in the most horrific manner. Last time it had been in a hotel room, but its once pristine furnishings had been completely drenched in blood, entrails had been hanging from the ceiling, a liver thrown awkwardly across the table lamp and the bible often placed in hotel rooms had brain smeared over it. He'd later seen something that slightly resembled it in a wonderful television show, Dexter, it had been called. His smirk at the thought almost spread out onto his features but he stopped it just in time, changing it to a glare.

After his random thoughts on Dexter, his mind once again went blank, if he had been free, not a lot would have been found of these so-called _doctors. _He snarled, baring his teeth to them both. He wasn't pregnant, he couldn't be, they were fucking with him. Some sick twisted experiment. He stopped snarling abruptly, there was something hovering in the far corners of his mind. He knew that he knew little of his past, little more than his real name, so why there a memory hovering just out of reach?

His breathing began to quicken, his eyes reflecting the wild, irrational fear, akin to a trapped animal, a predator that knew it was going to die. The two doctors looked at each other, weighing up in their minds whether it was worth it to sedate the Joker, who was now twisting and scratching at everything within reach, including himself, in his effort to free himself. Dr Park took hold of the younger doctor as he moved forward, needle in hand. "If we sedate him, he could lose the baby. We don't know how it will affect him, both mentally and physically"

"But if we let him continue, he'll cause himself some damage, also detrimental to the foetus' health." Dr Jackson said, his mind concentrated on Nobel prizes, fame and fortune, for bringing this to the world's attention. He could see it already, his name on the front page, the doctor who delivered the first male-borne child, him giving talks on how it was possible and how far-reaching the possibilities were. No normal child need ever suffer again, they'd have a limitless supply of fresh organs from the freaks born of males.

However Dr Park was only thinking of the Joker's health, and how he may calm down if the baby's other father were there. The Joker must have had some sort of relationship, it may be the only way to calm down the psychotic clown without drugs. Not to mention, the other father should be informed he had a child on the way.

Dr Park sent Dr Jackson to see to some of the other high-risk patients as he re-entered the Joker's cell. "Joker. I'd like you to calm down please." His no-nonsense tone left precious little room to argue.

Miraculously the Joker stopped fighting his restraints. He lifted his head, green eyes boring into his own. "Why? Frightened I'll hurt the parasite?" he ground out.

Dr Park looked shocked, but he had a duty of care, if the Joker truly felt that way, it was only right to offer him the option. "It isn't a parasite, it is a child." He took a deep breath, more to ground himself than anything. "If you truly feel that way, we can abort it. However, if you choose that option, I would prefer it if you discussed it with the other father". Dr Park steeled himself for the inevitable explosion of manic energy. It never happened.

Joker sat back in his straitjacket. Discuss aborting it (It was the only way he could bare to think of the thing growing within) with **Batman**?! Was this guy insane?! He took stock of his last thought and sniggered mentally. Then checked himself. 'No! Bad, bad laughing! Not the time for jokes!' he reprimanded himself. He decided to drop his bombshell on the unfortunate doctor.

"In that case, Doc, anyway I can get in touch with dear old Bats?" He almost smirked at the look in the guy's eyes. Maybe this would change the doctor's mind on him having to talk to Batman about it?

"I'm sure we'll find a way, Joker, if an abortion is truly what you want" The doctor nodded to him before leaving the cell, a shocked clown staring at his back, for once not feeling in the slightest homicidal, merely thoughtful.

Bruce smiled thinly at the vapid blonde currently clinging to his arm. He began surveying the room, noting with detached interest how thinly disguised gold-diggers clung to their current beau. It had always disgusted him, women lowering themselves for the sake of money. A flash of green caught his eye, and for the first time since the Joker's incarceration an emotion other than anger and self-pity flashed across the handsome billionaire's face. His face slumped back into its emotionless mask upon realising the green had been no more than a picture on the large T.V. It wasn't a picture of the Joker. Bruce cursed himself again, dammit the Joker was out of his system! And he definitely did not _miss _the green-haired, cackling psychotic clown!

Back in Arkham, Dr Park was practically tearing his hair out in frustration. He could believe the Joker, and attempt to talk to Batman. Or he could dismiss it as the insane ramblings of an unwell, however manipulative, mind. But the look the Joker had given him when he said he wouldn't consider an abortion without the other parent's consent, didn't seem to be the Joker attempting to manipulative him. It had seemed like the Joker was scared. That decided, it was time to find out if those rumours about Commissioner Gordon's relationship with the Batman were true after all.

Joker was still deep in thought many hours after Dr Park had left. He was going to have a baby. He could barely wrap his broken, fragile mind around the concept. He had also been considering an abortion. On the one hand, he had always wanted a family, someone to love him unconditionally. But then again, they would never allow him to keep the child in Arkham, or anywhere else for that matter. If he kept it, the child would always be a virtual stranger to him. Not to mention the prejudice the child would experience for having him as a parent. And that was on top of being a child of two men. Could he honestly inflict that on his own flesh and blood? But equally, could he kill his child?

Bruce sighed, feeling the familiar click of his mask going into place a comfort. The bat suit had always felt more his own skin than his ridiculous business suits ever could or ever would. He had to hurry, looking at the time: Gordon wanted to talk to him. He had said it was urgent, but not something he could discuss over the phone. That had had Bruce worried, Gordon almost never called, the only times he had had been when the Joker's latest plot threatened Gotham. Slipping into the Tumbler, he drove to where Gordon would be waiting. His landing upon the roof was silent, as always. Gordon turned round to face him, suddenly looking so much older, and far too tired than what could be healthy.

"Batman. I'm afraid I've had some unsettling news on the Joker" Gordon stated calmly upon seeing him, words that struck a cold chill into Bruce's chest.

"What?" he growled, his Batman voice lower and harsher than usual.

"Did you sleep with the Joker?".

Bruce was struck dumb at the question. Why on earth would Gordon want or need to know that? "What?" he growled again.

Gordon sighed and ran thin hands through his still-thick, but greying hair. "Did you or not? Trust me when I say, I wouldn't normally pry, but something has happened to the Joker. His doctor was here earlier" Gordon said tiredly.

"You mean he had a disease?" Bruce was beginning to feel worried now.

"No, no, nothing like that, but please Batman this important, now, did you sleep with him or not?"

"Yes" Bruce hung his head. It had hardly been the proudest moment of his life. Admitting his night of weakness to one of the most committed policemen out there was shameful.

"He's pregnant" Gordon stated, not bothering to attempt to sugar-coat the news.

"Holy shit. How?" Bruce asked numbly. Gordon flicked up his eyebrows.

"If you have to ask…" Gordon smiled.

"NO! I mean. I know how, but _how_?" Bruce noticed his voice losing its customary gruffness and lowered the timbre of his voice further. Gordon sighed.

"I don't know. The doctor didn't know. But he needed to get in contact with you, he refuses to allow the Joker to discuss having an abortion without you there"

Bruce didn't what to make of this. Joker pregnant? Abortions? Oh god, _a baby_?! At the same as these panicked thoughts, he was unable to quell the rising excitement. The thought of a child was oddly exhilarating, but at the same time, he was scared that if he told the Joker he wanted it, the Joker would abort it out of spite. He couldn't bring himself to blame the Joker, he had betrayed him in the worst way possible. Did he honestly think the Joker might welcome him back with open arms jut because of the baby? 'Or open legs.' his mind whispered slyly. No! Bruce stopped that though in its tracks. But then again, the authorities would never hand over the child to a vigilante, or for that matter, Bruce Wayne, playboy extraordinaire. Also he would have to admit sleeping with the Joker. Hardly a positive thing in the eyes of the media and of the courts. He would have to explain this somehow to Alfred as well.

Perhaps if Bruce was able to get the Joker out of Arkham, it would help to mend the rift created by Bruce's betrayal? Bruce doubted it, but it was worth a shot. He told himself the only reason he was considering this was for the baby. He didn't want to hold the Joker in his arms, or to feel his child kick from inside the Joker. He didn't want to fall to his knees to beg forgiveness. Didn't want to watch the beautiful fallen angel of a man sleep contented in Bruce's arms. He didn't. Ahh, denial, how he had missed thee.

Joker had been silent and unmoving for awhile now. He knew it was making the staff nervous, and that by itself was reason enough to continue. But that wasn't the real reason. His mind seemed to be able to think of only one thing. He wanted the baby. He actually wanted it. He knew it was horribly selfish of him, but that didn't lessen the want. He had already decided that it was 'fuck you' to Bats if he wanted to get rid of it. Joker would get out of this hellhole, hole up somewhere far, far away, and have his baby. He'd keep it safe and with him for as long as possible. Dr Park had showed him the ultrasounds, and was sure the man hadn't missed the happy look in his eyes. He knew the baby was about the size of a strawberry, but that didn't stop him thinking about what gender the baby would be, or its first step, first word, first friend, first of everything and he had never been more determined to experience anything as he was to experience every part of his baby's life. With or without Bats. However, he was no fool, Bats was obviously loaded, and if he could help him stay with the baby, then he would allow Bats some sort of contact with **his** child.

Bruce was now sitting in the Bat cave, where the quiet interrupted only by the fluttering of hundreds of bat's wings, helped him to think. Bruce did feel vaguely guilty for deceiving Alfred and Lucius, but he needed the privacy to work out his plan. Right now, Bruce was pouring over blueprints of Arkham. Bruce was determined to rescue his pregnant lover. He wasn't sure when he started thinking of the Joker as his lover, and it did cause butterflies to flutter wildly in his stomach. Weird. He was also thinking of how to explain the Joker's presence in the penthouse. He had considered keeping Joker in the Bat cave but decided against it, having read up on pregnancies. Pregnant women sounded hard enough, he didn't want to think about how difficult a pregnant Joker would be. It was the least he could do, making sure he spent the pregnancy as comfortable as possible. After the baby was born, he hoped Joker would stay with him, but if he really couldn't forgive him, Bruce would fix it so Joker could leave the country, though hopefully he'd remain in contact with them both. He hoped it wouldn't come to that, though. He didn't want to miss a moment of his child's life.

But right now, Bruce needed to stop thinking, and start planning. He didn't want the Joker to remain in that place for a moment longer. He did need to consider the Joker's medical needs, though. Perhaps he and the Joker could discuss it once he was safely here, where Bruce could see him. And touch him, but Bruce refused to acknowledge that niggling voice that said he didn't just want the Joker out of Arkham because of the baby.

Joker looked up when the door opened. Upon seeing Dr Park, his gaze dropped again. He had grown used to the doctor, he didn't trust him obviously, but didn't really want to kill him either. He didn't speak to the Joker as if he were an uncomprehending animal, but spoke to him as if he were just another guy. Another guy who happened to be pregnant, but still, he was nice enough.

"Dinner, Joker. I'm sorry, I know it is terrible. I am working on it though. We have just had a very generous donation." Dr Park happily said.

"Who from?" Joker enquired, from both a mix of boredom and curiosity.

"Bruce Wayne, you'll have heard of him, I'm sure"

"Yeah. Pretty little rich playboy." Joker grumbled.

"For once, I don't disagree with you, but it was a very generous contribution. To be expected really, when you look at his parents."

Joker frowned. "Shot weren't they?"

"Yes, Mr Wayne was 9 or 10, I believe. Terrible really, I don't think Mr Wayne ever got over it" Dr Park told him.

"Why is that?" Joker replied, his interest well and truly piqued now.

"Well, this was before you arrived, but for seven years Mr Wayne disappeared, was actually declared dead. But he came back, took back over his father's Company, and as you've seen, spent his time living a life of luxury." Dr Park told him, his distaste of the playboy evident on his face.

Joker sat back and absorbed the new information. He recalled seeing Bruce Wayne in the social pages of various papers, his face always smiling, but eyes always empty. Joker had always just thought he was either high or drunk or both. Now, he wasn't so sure. He began to eat mechanically, as his mind was furiously absorbed in its latest task.

"_Quick!" Bruce hissed, his voice higher than its normal growl when he was in the Bat suit. The Joker clambered out of the windows, into Batman's strong, waiting arms. Bruce resisted the temptation to cuddle him closer, instead choosing to begin to clamber down, his objective to get the Joker back as soon as possible. Soon they were both in the Tumbler, racing back to the cave. Joker had been suspiciously quiet, his face drawn and tight whenever Bruce snuck glances at him. They soon arrived, the entire journey having been spent in silence. Bruce wanted nothing more than to take the tired looking man into his arms, and hold him close while he slept. Unlikely, however. _

"_Look, Bats, thanks and all, but I'm tired, and I'll be up really early with the sickness". _

_Bruce smiled, and took him to the rather bare bedroom he had in the cave in case he was too injured or tired to go back to the penthouse. Joker looked surprised that he wasn't going to be put in a cell. "The bathroom is just through there, and I know it's a lot to ask, but seeing as there is only one bed, I don't suppose we could share? It'll just be until tomorrow" Bruce didn't risk saying 'I promise'. A tired Joker was also an unpredictable Joker. Even so, Bruce was surprised when Joker nodded. _

"_We can share Bats." _

"_Bruce"_

"_Huh?"_

"_My name, it's Bruce" He smiled at the Joker, as though it were a weight off his chest, finally admitting his identity. Joker's mouth fell open. Bruce suppressed a smirk. _

"_Right, bed then?" Bruce asked, breaking the awkward tension that had suddenly descended on them. _

"_Yeah… Bruce" Joker muttered, getting used to the feel of Batman's real name on his sibilant tongue. _

_Both men proceeded to get ready for bed, the Joker was borrowing some of Bruce's older clothes. With their respective nightly rituals completed, they both looked at each other, then the bed, then back at each other again. It was, too say the least, awkward. This time it was the Joker who moved first. He drew back the covers on one side of the large bed and slid in. Bruce tried not to make it obvious he was staring at the Joker's ass. _

_Despite Bruce's attempt at subtly, Joker knew he was being watched. However, he assumed it was out of suspicion not attraction and lust. Bruce moved forward after the Joker was safely wrapped up in the heavy duvet and throws. He climbed in his own side. "You O.K?" he asked._

"_I'm fine" muttered the Joker. Bruce smiled at him. Joker felt as thought they were two magnets, forever drawn to one another. He leant forward and kissed Bruce gently on the mouth. "Goodnight, Bruce" he smiled sleepily. He wasn't expecting Bruce's next move._

"_Oh no you don't. I would like a proper goodnight kiss"_

"_Take it then" Joker slyly said. He was feeling much more awake now. Bruce did, lips moving gently on his own, and after a moment, a warm slick tongue began to beg entrance to his own mouth. Joker happily granted the slick muscle entry. Their kiss was heated, yet unhurried. Bruce, especially, was determined to draw this out as long as possible. Who knew when the Joker would allow him to touch him again? _

_Joker broke the kiss to remove his own top, and Bruce's. Joker's mouth was practically watering at the sight of those washboard abs, defined pecs and strong, muscular arms. The fact the Joker knew just what Bruce was capable of was more of a turn-on than he would like to admit. Bruce gently began to push him down onto the mattress, lying atop him, but without putting his weight on the slight, lithe frame below him. _

_Joker began to rub his hard length against Bruce's answering hardness, causing both men to groan and move faster seeking more of the sensation. "Pants off NOW" Bruce growled in Joker's ear, voice a mere suggestion of the Batman's. Joker's breathing increased and he hurried to comply. Once he was naked, he hissed, "Now you." He watched, painfully turned on, as more of Bruce's tanned, muscular frame was revealed. _

_Bruce quite enjoyed feeling the Joker's eyes devour every revealed inch of his body. He had, after all, done the exact same thing when the Joker had been removing his clothes. Once he was naked, he only saw a green blur as the Joker tackled him, kissing him furiously. Bruce wasn't complaining. They rubbed against each other, both revelling in the feel of the other's hard cock pressing and rubbing against their own. Joker growled into Bruce's ear. "Fuck me, Brucie". Bruce frowned and shook his head biting his lip. Joker couldn't help but to take that lip into his own mouth, sucking hard on it. "I want to… but the baby…" Bruce whispered. Joker frowned. He hadn't considered that sex could hurt the baby. Suddenly, Joker nodded, then grinned. "It's not like this is such a hardship is it, Bruce?". Joker deliberately lowered his normally nasal tones to a more honey- covered velvety tenor. Bruce shuddered above him and ground himself harder against him. Joker smirked, then gasped as he felt Bruce's fingers begin to stroke the wrinkled skin surrounding his entrance. "Thought you said, oh god, no mm fucking Bruce?"_

"_I did. This isn't fucking." Bruce smirked at him. 'Cheeky bugger', Joker thought. _

_Both men continued to rub and grind against each other, soon lost in a haze of pleasure. Joker gave a hoarse cry, his cock spurting creamy ribbons onto Bruce's chest that soon smeared over the Joker's milky pale skin. Bruce cried out, "Joker!", as his release came rushing up as he felt the Joker cum against him. _

Bruce sat up straight, looking around. He groaned with disappointment that it had only been a dream. A very realistic dream, but still, a dream. Bruce grimaced as he realised he was wet and sticky. He ignored the small part of him that keened in disappointment that the dream had not been real. It would be soon enough. Following that dream, obviously Bruce's sub-conscious desires weren't that sub-conscious. And he was determined to live his life with the Joker and their baby. 'I quite like the sound of that, our baby' Bruce mused to himself, as he threw back the covers, heading for a hot, refreshing shower.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Delight in Disorder Chapter 7/?

Author: Melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together.

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Mpreg, explicit sex,

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant. Bruce finds out after hacking into the system after the Joker's escape and reading his medical file, with a side note saying that some doctors at Arkham are theorizing that the Joker was experimented on in the past.

A/N: This is short, sorry. But this just didn't want to come out! Also RL majorly piss-poor at the moment.

Big thanks to my wonderful beta, Amanda Saitou

Bruce had all but completed his plans to break the Joker out of Arkham. Even as he had planned it out, he had been well aware of the irony of his situation. He was the one to put the Joker in that hellhole, now he was the one begging any deity that would listen that his plan to break him out went smoothly. He just hoped he could be forgiven, although he suspected the Joker wasn't likely to be in a forgiving mood. Bruce felt he would be lucky to escape his wrath with everything still attached.

Joker sat, huddled in the corner of his padded room, swaddled tightly in his straitjacket. He felt cornered, like the walls would close in on him at any second and he wouldn't be able to do a damn thing because of this bloody dammed straitjacket; he growled, the movement of his face causing his lips to be pulled back revealing yellowed teeth. It only increased the aura of raw sensuality and primal charisma that surrounded the lithe man.

Bruce pulled on his cowl, the last part of his armour before resuming an unconscious mirroring of the Joker's snarl. He was getting that clown, come hell or high water. From an objective point of view, Bruce almost felt sorry for the poor fucker who was stupid enough to try and stop him. Almost.

At last, however, his plan was ready, and as far he could see, not likely to go wrong. Bruce knew he needed to beg forgiveness and breaking the Joker out of Arkham would help his cause a little. Properly wasn't enough to stop the Joker pulling his knife or something on him though. 'Is it so wrong I hope he will try to pull something?' Bruce wondered to himself. 'No! Must not fantasise about the Joker before a mission! Must take self into hand. And stop picking up on own double-innuendos! Perhaps should also stop talking to self? No, the only way to get some sensible, _agreeable conversation'. That settled, Bruce climbed into the Tumbler to go and get his clown. _

_Bruce shifted slightly, clinging to the wall. He was thankful he had not had to explain to Lucius why he needed something that would allow him to stick to the wall. Even so, Bruce could have sworn Lucius looked amused when he handed over the latest gadget. He watched the Joker as he twitched in his sleep, eyelids fluttering wildly. It seemed to Bruce that even in sleep he was chaos embodied, never still, always moving. He gave a slight smile. Despite the constant movement Bruce could only think of one occasion where he had seen the Joker look more peaceful and he would prefer not to dwell on that. He hated the stab of guilt and the stench of betrayal that always accompanied remembering that night. How could the Joker forgive him if he couldn't forgive himself? _

_Shaking himself out of the sudden onslaught of depressing thoughts, Bruce, as quietly as possible, set about removing the bars from the window of the Joker's cell. It was a small window, just big enough for the lithe man to squeeze through. This was the most volatile part of the plan, as Bruce wouldn't fit through the window and therefore couldn't force the Joker to come with him. _

"_Joker" Bruce hissed, keeping his voice in its Batman tone. "Joker" he said again, slightly louder. This time the Joker's poison green eyes flew open, every muscle in his body tensed for action. His eyes quickly narrowed when he saw exactly who had woken him up and was currently clinging to the wall of his cell. Bruce motioned for the Joker to stay quiet, and to his immense surprise the clown did as he was told. He quickly removed the bars and beckoned to the Joker. Thankfully, the clown was just as smart as his crimes suggested and he moved soundlessly to the window. _

"_Bats. You better have a plan." Joker growled quietly. Bruce tried not to think about how sexy the Joker sounded. The clown was closer now and he could see the large, black bags under his eyes, even through the now patchy make-up. Joker looked thinner too, dangerously thin for someone in his condition. _

"_I do, don't worry. But first we are going to get you out of here, will you come with me please?" Bruce asked._

_It was the please that got him. He was all for Bats rescuing him than knocking the big guy out and making his escape. When Bats said please and looked at him with those heartbreaking hazel eyes, he decided he'd go with Bats. Not like he couldn't escape later if necessary. _

_Bruce held his breath as the Joker began to awkwardly clamber out of the small window. The only way to get them both down was for Bruce to use his new gadget and have the Joker cling on to him. Bruce was trying to pretend he didn't enjoy having the Joker coiled around him like a particularly cuddly anaconda. He was also definitely not thinking that he wished they were both naked and in a more private and comfortable location. Thoughts like that could wait until after the rescue mission and, preferably, when Bruce was alone. _

_Joker gritted his teeth and wrapped himself around the Bat's muscular armoured form. He was getting out of Arkham. Then he was getting anything he could out of bloody fucking Batman and taking his baby and leaving. God help the fucker who got in his way. _


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Delight in Disorder Chapter 8

Author: Melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together.

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Mpreg, explicit sex,

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant.

Big thanks to my wonderful beta, Amanda Saitou

Joker wasn't happy at the moment, although the minute they entered the Tumbler, Bruce began to worry. That gleam in the Joker's verdant eyes couldn't mean anything good. His eyes scanned all the technology at the Bat's fingertips.

'Almost enough to make my mouth water' Joker thought. The way Batman was looking at him out of the corner of his eye was enough to tell him the Bat had a good idea of what was going through the crafty clown's head, though.

Joker gave a slight happy giggle when the engine roared into life. He could get used to this! Things only got better once Bats put his foot to the metal! He giggled again and when he looked back at Bats, he could have sworn the bigger man was smiling.

In what seemed like no time at all, they arrived at a gorge with a waterfall on the other side. Joker, was to say the least, rather confused. He had also just realised Bats hadn't blindfolded him. It might have taken him a little while, but he was reasonably sure he could find his way back here if he had to. That was when Bats really put his foot down and pressed a red button Joker had been trying very hard not to look at to avoid the temptation of pressing it. The car roared and shot over the gorge only to continue forward into what seemed to be a cave. This time, the Joker gave into the urge to laugh, and this time, Bats really was smiling at him.

"What is so funny Joker?" He asked, voice still sounding like he gargled with broken glass every night.

The Joker continued to laugh, and in between gasps for air managed to get out. "Oh, god, hehehe, it's the haha! Bloody Batcave!" Joker then rolled over howling.

Bruce tried not to snigger at the Joker's antics. The man was rather amusing when he wasn't being homicidal.

"Right, come on then. I'm assuming you are hungry?" Bruce raised an eyebrow at the Joker, before he remembered the Joker couldn't see his eyebrows.

"Starving. Arkham is hardly the Plaza after all. Wouldn't mind a shower either if you are offering." This time the Joker raised an eyebrow, defiant eyes centred on him, as if daring him to deny that it was his fault he had been in Arkham in the first place.

"True. Shower or food first?" was the only, rather defeated, reply Joker received.

"Shower." he replied. Bruce nodded.

Bruce offered the Joker his hand and helped him out of the Tumbler. Joker was looking around and assessing his surroundings. "Swanky place Bats." This time Bruce didn't bother to hide his smile and laughed.

"This is just, as you put it, the Batcave. I'll take you upstairs, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't attack my staff or attempt to escape. And for God's sake, don't burn it down, I have only just finished the repairs to it" Bruce told him sternly. Joker's mouth dropped open. "You will catch flies like that, you know" Bruce told him as he lifted one Kevlar glove to the Joker's face, closing his mouth for him gently.

"But you… You just told me who you are!" Joker exclaimed, clearly floored.

"Oh, good, I did hope you would get it. Now I'll get changed quickly, show you where you can get your shower, and, oh don't worry I'll find some clothes for you. Is there any food you would specifically like?" Bruce asked, enjoying his power over the currently speechless clown.

Joker stood there, unmoving as his brain processed everything he had just learned. He was now stuck on 'Holy shit Bruce Wayne is Batman. Holy motherfucker, I slept with Bruce Wayne. HOLY VIRGIN MOTHER OF GOD I'M HAVING BRUCE FUCKING WAYNE'S BABY'.

As a result, he jumped when a large, manicured pair of hands were placed on his orange jumpsuit clad shoulders. He heard a soft chuckle by his ear, and rolled his eyes. "Jumpy are we?" An amused and soft voice asked. The guy might be a womanising, closet gay, lying son of a bitch, but Joker couldn't deny that he was gorgeous, with a fantastic body and a nice voice.

"Right, come on, Joker I'll take you up and you can shower. I'll get you some clothes too". Bruce told him gently. Joker allowed himself to be lead towards the lift, which in Bruce's mind only solidified that the Joker was too shocked to protest or attempt anything, so he felt it would be all right to leave him to shower whilst he found some clothes for him.

Joker followed the taller man through the huge mansion. It was lavishly decorated, no expense spared on any area of the huge house. They soon arrived at a bedroom and Bruce showed him the huge bathroom. Then he left, presumably to offer some semblance of privacy.

Bruce left the Joker in the bathroom and walked across the room to his large walk-in wardrobe. He must have something that wouldn't just fall off the Joker's smaller and much lither frame. He picked up an old black t-shirt and his smallest pair of silken pyjama bottoms, that thankfully had a drawstring on them so they shouldn't fall down too easily. However, Bruce wasn't ready to come face to face with a wet, naked Joker. Bruce felt rather jealous of the water droplets that clung to the planes of the Joker's body. He really wanted to lick up all the water from his collarbone, and follow that enticing droplet as it ran from his neck down to the towel draped around his narrow hips. Bruce then focused on his stomach, almost hoping there would be some sign of his child in there, even though he knew it was far to soon for the Joker to be showing at all. When he finally managed to drag his eyes up to the Joker's face, the damn clown was smirking at him. That faded when Bruce couldn't take his eyes of the clean planes of the Joker's face, all traces of dirt and make-up gone. He looked so much younger, and Bruce mentally took five years off of the Joker's suspected age. His scars didn't spoil how handsome he was. His lips were still rather reddened but Bruce put it down to almost constant wearing of red lipstick.

The Joker looked very uncomfortable under Bruce's heavy gaze, and Bruce decided to break the heavy tension.

"I got you some clothes, I'm not sure they will fit you, but I'll deal with that problem later. What can I get you to eat?"

"I don't mind, Brucie, whatever is fine." Joker answered rather curtly, obviously still uncomfortable with Bruce staring at his face. Bruce nodded.

"All right, I'll leave you to get dressed, then I'll show you to the kitchen".

Joker dried himself quickly, feeling better than he had in a long while. Bruce's clothes were warm and smelled like him, and despite what he had done, the smell felt like warmth and safety to him. He put it down to the hormones. Bruce's clothes really were far too big on him, but it was a comforting sensation. Almost like Bats might actually care about him. 'He trusted you enough to tell you who he really was and he keeps leaving you alone in his house' he told himself. 'Surely a man who does that isn't full of undying hatred and resentment towards you' his brain added for him. Joker shook himself, this talking to himself thing was a bad habit. It made him look even crazier. He pushed down the urge to make a terrible joke. Instead, he trotted out of the room to find Bruce and the promised food.

He soon ran into Bruce in the hall, and was led into a warm kitchen, decorated in whites and earthy tones. He liked the room, not as much as the bedroom he had been in though. On the table was a spread of many types of food, mostly finger foods, and Bruce looked as hungry as he felt. Joker decided putting off conversation that could end with him in a cell until after they had both eaten. Perhaps by proving he could be a good houseguest he wouldn't be stuck in a cage. He meant that literally, apart from murder, he thought Bruce was properly capable of anything.

Bruce sat down to eat, trying to ignore how good the Joker looked in his clothes. Made him want to take him into his arms and never let him out again. Bruce mentally shook himself, he had to stop these inappropriate thoughts around the clown! Unfortunately Bruce's brain chose that moment to tell him Joker didn't really look like a homicidal clown at the moment, he looked so innocent and vulnerable. Well as much as those sharp, knowing green eyes could look innocent. Even now, the Joker looked rather twitchy, although much more relaxed than before. He watched Joker eat with a sharp eye wanting to make sure that not only did the man eat, but that he was eating enough for him and the baby. Bruce was not looking forward to the talk he knew that had to have after they had both finished eating, because Bruce knew if he put it of until tomorrow, he would continue to find ways to worm out of the conversation.

Joker yawned, the escape from Arkham and all of the revelations he had, made him more tired than usual, not that he was likely to sleep for a long period of time anyway.

"Thanks for the food and stuff, Brucie, but I'm awful tired" Joker said, affecting a deep southern accent and batting his eyelashes coquettishly at Bruce. The other man surprised him by laughing, a warm rich sound. It made the Joker smile shyly back at Bruce.

For Bruce though, that sweet, shy smile he never thought he would ever see the like of on the Joker, made what he had to say next that much harder.

"Joker, this is sort of hard for me to say… but do you want the baby?" Bruce asked quietly.

Joker was surprised to say the least. He hadn't really been given the choice at Arkham. The older doctor, no matter how kind he had appeared, refused to discuss without the other father there, he would never admit it out loud, but admired the older man's conviction. The younger doctor, however, gave him the creeps and he had learned long ago that his instincts would never lead him far astray. The way Bruce had phrased the question… he had given no clue on his own feelings, he made it seem like the only one's feelings on the baby that mattered were his own. That was… nice.

Bruce bit his lip nervously, the Joker seemingly lost in thought. Had he ruined the fragile peace that they had achieved in the brief time the Joker had been here? He knew what he hoped the Joker would say, but he wouldn't, couldn't pressure him either way.

"I have had a lot of time to think about this, courtesy of you, but I have decided that I'm keeping it, and I don't care what you think, and I certainly don't need you". The Joker's tone was very defiant, but Bruce saw the glimmer of fear in those beautiful emerald eyes. All Bruce wanted to do was rid him of that fear. He walked over to the Joker, leaning down and giving in to his urge to hug the Joker.

"I'm so glad. I want the baby too, if you'll let me help you." Bruce whispered in his ear. Joker nodded, and closed his eyes, laying his head on the strong shoulder and relaxing into the strong, protective embrace.

"So we do this together, Bats. We have agreed. Can we talk more in the morning? I don't know about you but I'm tired." Joker gave Bruce a small smile, matched with sleepy green eyes.

"All right. Bed then." Bruce replied.

Joker followed Bruce quietly out of the kitchen, mind busily processing every thing the Bat had said or done. The man was an enigma wrapped in a mystery, that was for sure. 'At least he'll never bore me' Joker thought. For once, Joker believed every word Bruce had said. The man certainly had no reason to lie, certainly couldn't see Bruce wanting to fuck with his head, the other man was far too noble for such a thing.

Bruce took Joker into the Master bedroom, he knew it wasn't really his parents' room, but he still couldn't sleep there. It was the biggest room though and he thought the Joker might appreciate all the space after the cramped blandness of Arkham.

"This is the Master Suite. I hope you'll be comfortable and if you need anything, my room is the next one on the left, k?" Bruce smiled at the Joker.

"K" Joker replied. Bruce turned to leave, but before he could, Joker called after him, "Bats?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you have the Master Suite? You are the master of the house after all" Joker asked, not malicious in any form, for now he was simply curious.

"You know what happened to my parents?" At the Joker's nod, he continued. "This house may have been burned down, and I know this room has never been used, but it doesn't mean I can bring myself to sleep in it."

Joker nodded, the explanation made sense. "Thanks, Bats."

"For what?" came his bone-tired yet curious reply.

"Everything. Getting me out, Ah!" he held up his hand to prevent whatever Bruce was going to say. "I know you put me there, but that doesn't mean you had to get me out, even with the baby. Thanks for trusting me with your identity and telling me stuff. Everything really. Tell anyone I thanked you and I'll have to kill you, can't have my super villain rep being ruined y'know?"

Bruce laughed. "Got you. And don't mention it Joker. Least I could do. Now get some rest, I'll see you in the morning." On impulse, Bruce covered the remaining distance between them, and kissed him gently on the forehead.

"Night Joker, sleep well"

"Sure.. Night Bruce"

With the address of his real name and not a ridiculous nickname, Bruce knew he had managed to surprise the Joker. He tried to ignore the part of that was crowing with triumph. It was the same part of him seemed to see the Joker as his lover. He was going to have to try so very hard to remember all the lives the Joker had taken. When he was like this, Bruce couldn't see him as a homicidal maniac. He also highly doubted the Joker would allow himself to become domesticated.

Bruce very nearly jumped when the Joker stuck his head out of his bedroom door, and yelled "Bruce!"

"Yes?"

"If you want to do something, I suggest you find out every thing possible on Doctors Jackson and Park. Night night Batty!"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Will do that, thanks Joker. Now get some sleep!"

He almost didn't hear the quiet reply of, "Yes mother." Bruce sniggered quietly. The Joker was actually quite funny when he wasn't spouting complete bullshit. As Bruce wasn't that tired, he decided to do as the Joker asked. He assumed the doctors were the ones that knew about the Joker's pregnancy. Although he did hope the Joker was having him check out the doctors for a valid reason and not just insane paranoia.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Delight in Disorder Chapter 9

Author: Melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together. No money was made from this.

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Mpreg, explicit sex,

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant.

Big thanks to my wonderful beta, Amanda Saitou

Joker stretched sleepily, momentarily enjoying the feel of muscles pulling, before both his awful nausea and the memory of the events of the previous day kicked in, sending him running to the en-suite Bruce had pointed out to him last night. His green eyes narrowed dangerously even as he puked his guts out. To say the Joker hadn't had the best start to his first day in the Wayne household would be an understatement.

Bruce whistled happily, carrying the silver breakfast tray easily to the Joker's room. He balanced the tray on one hand, and pushed the ornate door open. And very nearly dropped the still steaming breakfast, he only managed to keep his hold on the tray due to his fear of what Alfred would say when Bruce told him he had dropped breakfast all over a $300 dollar carpet.

The Joker had disappeared.

* * *

Joker was quite happy marching through the Narrows as if he owned them. In a way he felt he did; the newspapers hadn't dubbed him the 'Clown Prince of Crime' for nothing after all! Joker didn't pause in his whistling of a jaunty tune as he kicked in the rotting door. The reaction to his entrance was immediate and dramatic.

His former henchmen managed to look both petrified at his return and rather surprised at his presence. The Joker then realised he was still clad in the oversized and expensive pyjamas Bruce had given him the night before, as well as his face being devoid of any and all make-up. It explained the surprise, although by now, many of the longer-lived henchmen were well used to the Joker's odd moments.

After a moment's pause, however, every one of them averted their eyes from the Joker's. He smiled so broadly, for one horrible moment, it looked as though his scars would split apart at the seams.

'Back to normal, indeed', he thought, quite happily, already busy thinking of fire painting beautiful patterns on the bland, towering steel and glass obelisks outside.

He quickly skipped off to his bedroom, humming as he went. The Joker and his henchmen were holed up in an old warehouse in one of the worst parts of the Narrows. His 'bedroom' had actually been the factory supervisor's office until he had commandeered it. The small office was messy, with open make-up tubes congealing on the floor, half-constructed bombs and various brightly coloured pieces of clothing scattered everywhere. One multi-coloured argyle sock hang from the ceiling fan. Joker frowned slightly at that, he certainly couldn't remember putting his sock up there. He shrugged, and quickly began gathering a complete outfit before hunting for some of his lipstick.

* * *

Bruce made it down to the cave in record time. Alfred had raised one silvery eyebrow at him as he had ran past, not bothering to explain the current predicament. Alfred, no doubt, would have something to say about the mass murdering criminal now free on the streets of Gotham.

He sighed, he couldn't go out in broad daylight wearing his suit, and at the same time knew he couldn't allow the Joker free run of the city until night fall. Not to mention that the Joker now knew his identity. Bruce allowed his head to fall on the desk with a dull thud.

"Master Wayne. What on earth was the hurry?" Alfred asked as he calmly stepped into the cave. He paused before continuing, "Shall I assume the Joker has escaped from Arkham?"

Bruce didn't lift his head and merely nodded. He heard Alfred sigh somewhere off to his right.

"What am I going to do, Alfred? I can't go out as Batman now, and I certainly can't let him have free reign of the city until nightfall" Bruce remembered just in the nick of time that Alfred didn't know about the baby.

"True, Mr Wayne, but nightfall isn't too far off."

Bruce considered Alfred carefully, who met his eyes steadily.

"Alfred…" Bruce began, uncertain of how to say what he needed to.

"Just spit it out, Bruce. I know that look" Alfred replied sternly. Bruce dropped his head and smiled slightly. The smile faded when he considered the enormity of his next statement.

"I'm going to be a dad, Alfred."

Alfred's mouth dropped open. "You are going to be… what?"

"A dad." Bruce replied evenly.

"Well… I'll just have to begin making wedding arrangements." At this Alfred's gaze went steely, before he continued, "Because you will be making an honest woman out of her, won't you, Bruce?"

"Ah. Well, see, I can't."

"What do you mean you _can't_?"

Bruce mumbled, "Notawoman"

"I didn't quite catch that, speak clearly and don't mumble please, Mr Wayne" Alfred's tone was positively frigid now.

Bruce cleared his throat, "Not a woman".

Alfred's mouth dropped open again, and his eyebrows shot up.

"But you said…"

"Yeah"

"Oh, dear."

Alfred sat, brows furrowed in confusion. "You got a… man pregnant? How?"

"I wish I knew. All I have is the Arkham case notes" Bruce muttered, thoughts far away. He missed Alfred's jaw slackening, and his quick mind picking up on Bruce's slip.

"A criminal. A male criminal. A male, criminally insane felon. You got an Arkham inmate pregnant!" Alfred's last sentence was yelled. Bruce flinched, he could count the times Alfred had raised his voice to him on the fingers of one hand.

"And I seriously hope it isn't the criminal I think it is!"

Bruce looked up at Alfred guilty. "Which do you think?" He asked quietly. Bruce's quiet, respectful tone just served to make Alfred angrier.

"Don't, Bruce!" Alfred yelled. He took a deep breath, visibly calming before continuing, "Did you sleep with the Joker, Bruce?"

* * *

Joker was not happy. Currently, his forehead was resting on the lime green lid of the toilet, a pair sightless, staring eyes looking up at him. No henchmen had dared to 'check' on him since, and for the first time he could remember, the sickly sweet, iron smell of the blood made him nauseous, deepening his bad mood.

He slowly lifted his head, and stumbled over to the dirty, cracked sink to rinse his mouth out. He stared at his cracked reflection, before deciding to do a spot of shopping.

The Joker put his head down, the bright sun temporarily rendering him blind, before continuing down and out of the Narrows. As he got further away from the Narrows, the more people there were filling up the streets. None paid him a second look, his smooth youthful face, the black suit, the white shirt, the black tie and black dress shoes, he looked just like any of them. How he hated it. However, needs must.

"There you are, Sir. That'll be $20.60" The girl behind the counter smiled broadly as he handed her the money. He left without a backward glance, both hands filled with several bags.

He reached his temporary home in the Narrows in record time, feeling so much more comfortable away from the claustrophobic crowds in the main body of the city. He walked into the warehouse, not pausing as he stalked past the hench men, and into his own room at the top of the rusting metal stairs. Joker swept on black clad arm along his chest of drawers, sending the clutter on the top crashing to the ground. Silently, he unpacked the bags, laying out each item next the other, in a methodical, ordered pattern.

Three pregnancy tests, each a different brand, one new mobile phone, one pack of crackers and three bars of Cadbury's chocolate, one dark, one milk and one with fruit and nuts. He looked moodily at the odd assortment of items, before sighing, picking up a clean glass and heading into the bathroom.

Later that night, three high rise apartment blocks lit up the night sky, and one purple clad man watched the city burn, his head in his hands, no smile gracing his twisted features, not tonight.

* * *

Across the city, a dark man stood in his bedroom window, different from normal; used to the comforting weight of his armour as he bore witness to yet more destruction of his city, trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle together.

Alfred came up behind him, no accusations on his face, not now, not when he knew how much this hurt Bruce.

"He must be stopped, Bruce. One way or another, he must be stopped."

Bruce made no reply, and he didn't look as Alfred left the room. He didn't see Alfred's tired, caring, _hurt _look as he shut the bedroom door quietly behind him. Leaving Bruce all alone in the dark, surrounded by destruction and dark thoughts.

That morning saw Bruce stood where Alfred had left him, and a plan slowly coming to fruition behind hazel eyes.

"Master Wayne? Have you stood there all night?"

"Huh? Alfred… err yeah, I guess. But I have a plan now." Bruce said tiredly.

"A plan?" Alfred looked quizzical.

"Yeah. To stop the Joker."

"Deadly force, one would assume, Master Wayne." Alfred stated. Bruce recoiled from him in horror.

"You can't… can't be serious?"

"Perfectly"

"But he is pregnant!" Bruce yelled.

"And he is a mass murdering sociopath!" Alfred yelled back, memories of Rachel flashing behind his eyes. It was unbelievable Bruce so quickly forgot the woman he claimed to have loved, unbelievable he would be so quick to jump into bed with her murderer.

Bruce rubbed one hand over his eyes, before he turned away from Alfred.

"Look. I will catch him, and I can keep him here…" When it looked as though Alfred was going to protest, Bruce added, "At least until he has the baby. I am tired, Alfred. I am going for a shower." Bruce walked away, leaving Alfred bereft in the middle of the room.

That night, with Bruce rested, he put on his suit, and headed out, hoping he would run into the Joker. He couldn't leave the clown out there for another night. It was either the cave or Arkham. Bruce knew which he'd prefer.

Batman gunned the Tumbler's engines, leaping from one roof top to another. It was midnight and he had been out here for hours with no sign of the Joker. The streets were far quieter than normal, even the low level stuff he left to the police was missing. Batman was willing to bet the Joker had something to do with it. It was eerie, it was so quiet, no sirens or gunshots to break the tense atmosphere of the city.

He parked the Tumbler in a quieter area of the Narrows, and set out to explore the meat packing district warehouses. He didn't have to search for long. At last, after hours of fruitless searching, Batman had found the Joker's lair. He moved silently up to the window, his face slackening in surprise at the sight before him. The Joker was curled up into a ball, cocooned by several blankets, and even from this distance Batman could see he was shivering. Something was wrong.

He popped open the window, and moved quietly up behind the Joker. Sweat had beaded on his forehead, causing his freshly applied white make up to run in rivulets onto the blankets underneath his head. Batman frowned, and moved around the room, taking this rare opportunity to gather anything he thought Joker might want that wasn't dangerous. Then, this done, he leant down and folded the blankets tighter around the Joker and swept the cocooned man into his arms. He was out the window and onto the roof by the time one sleepy, fevered green eye opened.

They were almost to the Tumbler when the Joker seemed to wake a little more, except all the mad man did was look at him, mumble and go to back to sleep. That was when Bruce decided Joker really was sick.

Alfred was waiting for them in the cave when they returned. Bruce stood, Joker in arms, as he got out of the Tumbler.

"Alfred, he's sick!" Bruce shouted.

"Well, what else is new?"

"Alfred, I'm serious!"

Alfred sighed. "What do you want me to do, Master Wayne?"

"Call Lucius. Tell him it is an emergency!"

Alfred didn't reply, didn't want to look at the thing curled up in Bruce's arms, and did as he was asked.

Lucius arrived in only fifteen minutes, but Bruce acted as though hours had passed. From the moment Lucius entered, Bruce was on him, concerns for the Joker spilling from his lips. Lucius, to his credit, remained calm in the face of Bruce's anxiety.

"Let's have a look, shall we?"

Bruce stepped back and allowed Lucius access to the sleeping criminal, but remained close.

"Well, he has a fever, but I would say that that is the result of him being severely dehydrated, and dangerously underweight for someone in his condition." At Bruce's raised eyebrows, Lucius explained, "Alfred called me. I would get a doctor here, Master Wayne."

"How? How would I explain this?" Bruce asked, exasperated.

"Well, surely his Arkham doctor is aware of his condition."

"You are a genius, Lucius!" Bruce exclaimed. Lucius smirked.

All Bruce had to do was to get Doctor Park here without having to explain why the Joker was here and why Bruce Wayne cared.

By the morning, Joker was much worse, tossing and turning in his delirium, alternating between being extremely hot and very cold. Bruce couldn't leave him, every time he tried, Joker got worse. It was almost like he knew Bruce was there…

He couldn't hold off getting Doctor Park here any longer. Bruce had Alfred make the call, as he watched the Joker's ravaged face twist in pain.

The doctor arrived quickly, looking terribly confused. Bruce stood and held out one large hand, shaking the more frail doctor's hand firmly.

"Mr Wayne. You appear to have captured a felon."

Bruce grimaced. "An ill felon, Doctor."

"So I can see. I really would prefer to take Mr Joker back to Arkham. I can care better for him there, not to mention the danger he presents by remaining here."

"No. He stays here"

"Mr Wayne…" Doctor Park began, clearly exasperated by this point.

"Please, just help him. Make sure the baby is O.K" Bruce asked quietly.

"How do you… Oh"

Bruce flicked up an eyebrow, and at the doctor's questioning glance, nodded. Dr Park sighed, and began to check over the ill clown.

Later, with a reviving cup of tea, Dr Park asked, "How do you plan to keep him here? I can't see him willingly or quietly being kidnapped". Bruce scowled and was about to answer when Alfred jumped in,"True, but in this case I would say the Joker's… delicate condition may work in our favour"

Bruce lifted his head to look at Alfred, his face surprised.

Alfred sighed. "Morning sickness, Mr Wayne, according to the Arkham doctor's notes."

"Oh. Good."

Alfred looked him straight in the eye before replying, "I wouldn't say that to him, if I were you, Mr Wayne"

Dr Park laughed.

"So how does that help us keep him here without him injuring himself or us?"

"Your mother suffered terribly with morning sickness, nothing your father could do. I wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't stand the smell of most food right now." Alfred answered.

"He really can't afford to lose any weight right now, Alfred."

Dr Park nodded in agreement. "I think what your butler is trying to get at, Mr Wayne, is that Mr Joker will be very weak after this, and with the morning sickness, his recovery will be slower than it would be normally. I highly doubt he will be capable of getting out of bed, never mind mounting a violent escape attempt."

Here, the doctor's gaze turned steely. "If you are insistent on keeping him here, I will require regular visiting hours, and you will have to care for him, no matter how ungrateful or resistant he seems. He will depend on you for everything. I would not suggest undertaking his care lightly."

Bruce nodded. "I'll look after him."

"This is going to be a bloody disaster". Alfred murmured from his corner in the room.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Delight in Disorder Chapter 10

Author: Melodyofchaos

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Batman related, if I did Bats and Joker would wear a lot less clothing whilst together.

Rating: NC17

Warnings: Mpreg, explicit sex, 

Summery: After Batman gives in to his hidden desires for one night, he carts off the clown to Arkham, only for the doctors to find the Joker is pregnant. 

Big thanks to my wonderful beta, Amanda Saitou

Green eyes blinked as the world swam back into focus. He sat up slowly, and looked around himself. And promptly scowled. He knew where he was, and Bruce, the bastard, shouldn't be far away. He wasn't wrong. Bruce noticed he was awake, and smiled broadly at him. Joker's scowl deepened, looking odd due the permanent smile on his face.

Bruce's 100 watt grin faltered slightly under the Joker's pissed off scowl. Perhaps he should have expected that Joker wouldn't be in a very good mood when he woke up?

"How do you feel this morning?" Bruce asked brightly. Joker hmphed, turned his head and stared at the wall. Bruce sighed, and sat down on the edge of the bed. The other man steadfastly ignored him.

"Are you hungry? Oh, no, you're sick… How silly of me." Bruce's brow furrowed slightly, before continuing, "Can I get you something? Anything at all?"

Joker sat up. Stared at Bruce until the other man shifted slightly under the uncomfortable weight of the vaguely hypnotic and sociopathic stare. He clenched his left hand, feeling the solid weight, the metal warming to his hand, feeling nearly as natural as a knife. Nearly. He missed his knives, spared a thought as to what had been done to them. Then, quick as lightening, Joker threw the spoon directly at Bruce. At such close quarters, he could hardly miss, and the projectile hit Bruce straight in the middle of the forehead.

Time seemed to slow down. It took an age for Bruce's face to go from confusion, to pain, back to confusion. Joker gritted his teeth. Stood up. This time, a heavy, antique lamp found its way into his hand. This time Bruce ducked. This didn't deter Joker in the slightest, throwing anything and everything at Bruce, horribly silent. It was the unnatural silence that got him. Joker wasn't, shouldn't, couldn't, be quiet.

Then, as suddenly as he started he stopped. "You have forgotten what I am. Forgotten what I live for. What happened between us, and the consequences thereof, are of no matter. I AM A MURDERER! Every single person I have killed… I enjoyed it, you know. I'm a monster, I'm your monster, but a monster none the less. ." Joker didn't yell, his voice quiet, soft, a brittle edge to his nasally tone.

Bruce swallowed. "I know"

"THEN STOP TREATING ME LIKE A PET! LIKE… LIKE A BOYFRIEND! I'm not. And I would like my knives. Be dear and get them, won't you Batsy!" Joker giggled, a bright, sharp edge to his voice, matching a hot, white-flare of insanity in his eyes. He sank to the floor, hand fisting in the rug. "Got to get… clothes. Annnd, _gasoline_" Joker's eyes lit up. "Yeah… Gasoline…"

Bruce backed out of the room. He had made a horrible mistake. How could he possibly have forgotten who the Joker was?

His eyes narrowed, gaze hooded. He wouldn't forget again, couldn't afford to. Bruce looked at his watch. Things to do.

* * *

"Aattention" the General barked. Every man stood straight as an arrow, giving the silver haired man at the front their full attention. The general's face had several scars, marks of his long military service. "We move at 0800hours. We hit them hard and fast. Grab the target and take out anyone who gets in your way. I want this done right. No mistakes". A chorus of "Siryessir" met his ears. A cold smile that didn't quite reach his eyes slowly formed on his face. He wasn't getting away this time.

* * *

"Alfred." Bruce nodded to his butler in greeting.

"Good morning, Master Bruce." Alfred frowned. "Is everything all right?"

"No. But it will be. Can you get me everything on this list by this afternoon?" Bruce asked, extending the list. Alfred took it, still frowning, and scanned it quickly.

"Yes, I believe so. Why?"

Bruce stared at him for a moment, weighing him, and Alfred had the horrible feeling he had been found wanting.

"By this afternoon, please Alfred."

"Come on" Bruce snarled, later that afternoon, grabbing at the Joker's wrist. He noted with no small amount of interest that Bruce was sweaty, with his old, worn grey t-shirt sticking to his muscled chest impressively.

"What, no kiss, Brucie?" Joker simpered. Bruce gritted his jaw, ignoring the way the Joker's nasally chuckle made his teeth hurt. Joker opened his eyes very wide, staring up at Bruce, who softened his own expression slightly in response. "But, Brucie, don't you _love _me anymore?"

Bruce gave a wordless roar of frustration, all hints of tenderness gone from his angry, bestial expression. He turned and slammed the Joker up against the wall, pinning him there with his own, larger body. Joker licked his ruby-red lips, Alfred having caved on the make-up issue earlier. Joker wiggled slightly, shamelessly turned on.

A good bit of violence would always do that to him, especially from the bat. Joker's face split apart in a broad beam, Batsy was back, he thought to himself. Bruce gritted his teeth at the same time his eyes darted down and up again, only to meet the Joker's still smirking eyes. Their gazes connected and for a second, time stood still , a stifling, heavy tension permeating the hallway.

Joker licked his lips again, tongue flicking at the corners, a soft pink against the harsh red. Joker didn't smile, not this time, not with that heavy, hot look positively smouldering in Batsy's eyes. Bruce surged forward, taking possession of Joker's mouth. It wasn't Bruce, wasn't sweet and hot, wasn't the Bat either, tasting of fire and ash, blood and despair. This was someone the Joker hadn't met, some glorious, horrible, beautiful, hideous combination. The lines between the two were blurring, becoming a whole to Joker's shattered reflection.

Joker beamed against Bruce's mouth. This was going s_wimmingly_.

Bruce was just starting to get annoyed at the broad grin stretching the Joker's face after he had jerked his own make-up stained mouth away when the first bullet pierced the window immediately to their right. Bruce grabbed the Joker around the middle and hauled him around the corner, moving himself to flatten the Joker against the wall. Bruce was trying to hear the locations and possible numbers of men, when the Joker raised his knee, gently caressing, and purred into his ear, "Ohhh, Basty… You only have to ask."

He giggled, and Bruce felt a tickle of warm wetness on his ear, which he realised was the Joker's tongue, engaged as it was in that damned annoying tic of his. When he could hear no more bullets, Bruce cautiously moved slightly, just enough so that he could see around the corner. Joker, obviously seeing his chance, tore free and ran off down the dimly lit hall in the opposite direction. Bruce cursed under his breath and followed in hot pursuit.

Bruce dropped to the floor as bullets pierced the walls. He ran, as low to the ground as possible, stopping to grab the Joker, who had hidden himself behind a ornate table. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Who the hell do you think this lot are here for?" Bruce hissed angrily.

A bullet suddenly shattered the vase above their heads, causing both men to flinch, and duck down lower and closer together. The bullets stopped as suddenly as they started, several men clad in black body armour appearing and surrounding them.

"Hello, Son".


End file.
